It's very short for a "feature article." I don't see that you've addressed these questions, either:
**Is it really the weather, as some characters in the story think?
**Is it an evil force?
**Be sure to tell why the murderous birds didn't succeed...
This is too vague to work: "People today are unsure about what caused this unusual behavior of the usually peaceful animals, but some scientists are suggesting that the birds ate something highly intoxicating, such as berries or fungus."
'Du Maurier, who wrote the short story The Birds, tells us that the birds are trying to destroy human life, but we never know what is making them do it. Is it really the weather, as some characters in the story think? Is it an evil force? Suppose you're a historian at some future time studying this famous bird attack. Write a feature article summing up the main events on the historical disaster and offering some possible reasons for the birds' frenzy. Be sure to tell why the murderous birds didn't succeed in wiping out the world. It should be atleast one paragraph long.'
This is what I got:
On the third of December on the Cornish coast of England many years ago, the weather changed overnight from a mild autumn to a cold, harsh winter. Nat Hocken, a worker at a farm noticed that the birds appear more restless than usual and told his wife about his curiosity.
The people who lived near Nat didn’t believe him and didn’t take any precautions, but Nat boarded up his whole house, where he and his family were safe from the attack of the birds.
It was a while before the birds’ frenzy settled down, but finally they disappeared, as quickly as they had come. People today are unsure about what caused this unusual behavior of the usually peaceful animals, but some scientists are suggesting that the birds ate something highly intoxicating, such as berries or fungus.
No one knows the reason for sure, and will probably never find out but everyone today questions whether the birds will reappear or not…
Is it OK?
Thanks
-MC
6 answers
Alright, any suggestions on how I can change this up?
-MC
-MC
Answer the questions!!
Yes ma'am
-MC
-MC
Here we go:
On the third of December on the Cornish coast of England many years ago, the weather changed overnight from a mild autumn to a cold, harsh winter. Nat Hocken, a worker at a farm noticed that the birds appear more restless than usual and told his wife about his curiosity.
The people who lived near Nat didn’t believe him and didn’t take any precautions, but Nat boarded up his whole house, where he and his family were safe from the attack of the birds.
It was a while before the birds’ frenzy settled down, but finally they disappeared, as quickly as they had come. People today are unsure about what caused this unusual behavior of the usually peaceful animals, but some scientists are suggesting that the birds ate something highly intoxicating, such as berries or fungus. In the time that it happened, most people, including Nat, suggested that it was the weather but we’re thinking differently today.
Even though the birds were murderous, they didn’t succeed in wiping out the world because the US Army’s forces were stronger. Had they not been there, humans would probably be living in bubbles to be safe today, or there might not have been any more humans left.
-MC
On the third of December on the Cornish coast of England many years ago, the weather changed overnight from a mild autumn to a cold, harsh winter. Nat Hocken, a worker at a farm noticed that the birds appear more restless than usual and told his wife about his curiosity.
The people who lived near Nat didn’t believe him and didn’t take any precautions, but Nat boarded up his whole house, where he and his family were safe from the attack of the birds.
It was a while before the birds’ frenzy settled down, but finally they disappeared, as quickly as they had come. People today are unsure about what caused this unusual behavior of the usually peaceful animals, but some scientists are suggesting that the birds ate something highly intoxicating, such as berries or fungus. In the time that it happened, most people, including Nat, suggested that it was the weather but we’re thinking differently today.
Even though the birds were murderous, they didn’t succeed in wiping out the world because the US Army’s forces were stronger. Had they not been there, humans would probably be living in bubbles to be safe today, or there might not have been any more humans left.
-MC
MUCH better!!
In the second sentence, you should have "appeared" since the main verb is "noticed" -- they need to be consistent.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/consistency.htm
In the third sentence, you should replace "where" with "so that" and it'll make better sense.
Good job!!
In the second sentence, you should have "appeared" since the main verb is "noticed" -- they need to be consistent.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/consistency.htm
In the third sentence, you should replace "where" with "so that" and it'll make better sense.
Good job!!