does this paragraph sound OK?
but when it comes to security it may be a problem.
3 answers
That's not a paragraph.
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/606/01/
Be sure to read all of this, including the section called Adequate Development.
Be sure to read all of this, including the section called Adequate Development.
On your phrase, it is quite unclear what "it" means.