Describe the functions of the Endocrine system and how it works. 150 words.

Question

Please check my answer thank you. ( not sure about introduction, conclusion, content development word choice ect)

My answer

The endocrine system is the collection of glands that produce hormones that regulate metabolism the physical and chemical processes of the body. The endocrine system is also responsible for the growth and development, tissue function, sexual function, reproduction, sleep, and mood. The hormones are released into the bloodstream and may affect one or more organs throughout the body. The parathyroid glands are two pairs of small glands embedded in the surface of the thyroid gland, one pair on each side. They release parathyroid hormone, which plays a role in regulating calcium levels in the blood and bone metabolism., The thyroid gland stimulates metabolism, the activity in the nervous system as well as growth. growth the adrenal glands (2) are located on top of each kidney and is responsible for regulating electrolyte levels, responds to stress and it has an impact on metabolism. The pineal gland is a small organ, shaped like a pinecone, found in the skull of vertebrates. It also produces and secretes melatonin. (influences your sleep cycle)., The thymus plays a big role in the immune reaction., The pituitary gland secretes hormones that control the activity of the other endocrine glands. The reproductive organs (ovaries and testes), are sex organs which work together for the purpose of sexual reproduction.

Answer 1

Remove all instances of "you" or "your" and rephrase if needed.

Please fix the punctuation here:
melatonin. (influences your sleep cycle)., The
If the words in parentheses go with "melatonin," then remove the period after "melatonin" and the comma before "The"

Fix punctuation and/or wording here:
as well as growth. growth the

Fix punctuation and/or wording here:
bone metabolism., The thyroid

That's about all I can tell you since I have never studied this topic.