1. delete "the" in front of "television"; "has turned" (not "had turned"); http://www.answers.com/topic/automaton
2. "He is drawn into..." http://thesaurus.com/browse/lure
3. "... because they fear losing control ..."
4. OK
Could you please check these sentences, especially the word-choice and sentence connectors?
1) Marcus Shawcross believes that the television had turned the average person into a mindless lump (synonym) who just obeys what the television tells him.
2) He is lured into (synonym) the TV trap with the deceptive label of interactivity, but the only interaction is between the TV and the viewer’s wallet. Marcus invites people to read a book or take a walk instead of watching TV.
3) Thomas believes that he is old enough to understand that television is not real life. He believes that many adults censor the television because they fear to lose control over their children.
4) In his opinion, kids watch it mainly for entertainment. Furthermore, when programs are labeled as bad or controversial, then more people tend to watch them. In other words, censorship generates the opposite effect.
1 answer