There cannot be 3 "A" labels -- the second one must be B and the third must be C.
A. It is terrifying to see what kids do online the things they say to one another and how easy being cruel is when they are online. = still a run-on. Did you even read what I posted for you earlier?
1. Kids will talk about many things whether it is school work home life or the boyfriend/girlfriend. OK
2. The bullying begins often when others are talking about something that may or may not have happen to another peer. OK
A. It starts as a rumor and someone tells another and then another and then a bully has a reason to use the internet and find a way to make this person’s life miserable on a web page like twitter or face book. Needs to be B! It = ?? also a run-on (or doesn't make sense; it looks as if you're trying to cram more than one idea into one sentence -- but it doesn't work).
1. Picking on others and being insulting and hurtful. Not a sentence.
2. It is a fact that a bully loves a place where there is no parent or teacher, or little adult supervision. bullies run free on the internet or in texts. Two sentences; what can you cut so it's ONE sentence?
A. When bullies become aggressive it can become hurtful, but there are things that can be done as a intervention or things that can be done to prevent bullying on the web. Needs to be C!! Again -- more than one main idea going on here.
1. There are times when kids are being bullies and go to the extreme of recording the incident just to put it on the web. OK
2. There are warning signs that caregivers can look for. OK
Conclusion:
Cyber bullying is not a physical abuse but it is still hurtful and can cause damage to the people being targeted to the point that they become depressed or even suicidal. Very blah! This is what everyone already knows. What do you REALLY want to convince someone to believe? How will this be a convincing conclusion of your thesis statement?
Could someone take a look at my sentence outline for my english class, I have been working on this for awhile and I do not know why this is so hard for me to get. Hopefully I am getting it a little betternow, thanks for all the help.
Thesis Statement:
Bullies have found it easy to hurt other people by means of computers and cell phones - a practice called cyber-bullying, which has devastating effects, not only on students, but also for teachers, parents, and caregivers.
A. It is terrifying to see what kids do online the things they say to one another and how easy being cruel is when they are online.
1. Kids will talk about many things whether it is school work home life or the boyfriend/girlfriend.
2. The bullying begins often when others are talking about something that may or may not have happen to another peer.
A. It starts as a rumor and someone tells another and then another and then a bully has a reason to use the internet and find a way to make this person’s life miserable on a web page like twitter or face book.
1. Picking on others and being insulting and hurtful.
2. It is a fact that a bully loves a place where there is no parent or teacher, or little adult supervision. bullies run free on the internet or in texts.
A. When bullies become aggressive it can become hurtful, but there are things that can be done as a intervention or things that can be done to prevent bullying on the web.
1. There are times when kids are being bullies and go to the extreme of recording the incident just to put it on the web.
2. There are warning signs that caregivers can look for.
Conclusion:
Cyber bullying is not a physical abuse but it is still hurtful and can cause damage to the people being targeted to the point that they become depressed or even suicidal.
1 answer
1 answer