This will or won't make sense to me only if I can see the outline or plan you have written for the rest of your paper.
Post it here, please.
Could someone please review my thesis statement? Any suggestions how to make it better?
Anne Frank's family experienced two years of extreme hardship during the Holocaust in hiding as a Jewish family, they were captured and sent to a concentration camp called Auschwitz. The only living member of the Frank family to survive was Otto Frank.
4 answers
Well, first of all, that's not a thesis statement because you're not taking a stand on an issue that is arguable.
Anyway, since the rest is all simply factual, it's probably okay.
The only thing I'd correct in there is a comma splice — where you are using a comma instead of a period and capital letter between two sentences.
Anyway, since the rest is all simply factual, it's probably okay.
The only thing I'd correct in there is a comma splice — where you are using a comma instead of a period and capital letter between two sentences.
Thanks for the advice Writeacher! I really appreciate it :-)
You're welcome!