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Can you proofread my letter? Thanks!

December 7, 2007

Dear President of the Math Company,

I am pleased to inform you that a company that has 11 mathematicians on its staff and 2 or fewer women is possible. In fact, based on my stimulation, the probability that there are 2 or fewer women in a randomly selected group of 11 mathematicians is 10%. As you can see, there may be companies that fall below the expected 40% of women mathematicians. You must understand that some companies have more or less than 40% women mathematicians. Furthermore, the 40% comes from the average of the proportion of women hired in all the companies in the United States. The proportion of women mathematicians hired in one company is no representation of the whole population. I hope the content of this letter provide the answer you need.

Sincerely,
Anonymous

4 answers

I need help editing this letter.
I am pleased to inform you that a company that has 11 mathematicians on its staff and 2 or fewer women is possible. In fact, based on my simulation, the probability that there are 2 or fewer women in a randomly selected group of 11 mathematicians is 10%. As you can see, there may be companies that fall below the expected 40% of women mathematicians. You must understand that some companies have more or less than 40% women mathematicians. As my stimulation shows, 45% companies hired 4 or less women mathematicians, which is less than 40%. Moreover, 55% companies hired 5 or more women mathematicians, which is more than 40%. Furthermore, the 40% comes from the average of the proportion of women hired in all the companies in the United States. The proportion of women mathematicians hired in one company is no representation of the whole population. Certainly, my simulation does not represent the whole population. It only serves as an illustration of a possible outcome. I hope the content of this letter provides the answer you need.
Use words instead of numerals for numbers that are one or two words (except when stating percentages).
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/numbers.htm

Use commas in compound sentences.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm
See #2.

Double-check word choice -- you mean simulation, not stimulation, right?

55% of companies (omitted word of here and in other places)

"4 or less women..." should be "four or fewer women... "
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/adjectives.htm#less
which college is free for a salutatorian?