1) It was midnight. We were walking through the street. There wasn’t anybody else around. Everything was quiet, when a fast car jumped out of the darkness.
2)The car crashed against a wall<~~add comma (compound sentence) and the driver jumped through the windscreen and fell down on the pavement.
3) Then we approached to<~~delete "to" the car even though we were very<~~delete "very" afraid and scared<~~delete "afraid and" -- make a new sentence here~~> we finally decided to help the driver.
4) We ran away from the car, though, because it was starting to burn,<~~delete comma with the body of the unconscious driver<~~in it. Suddenly we heard a terrible noise : the car exploded and we saved a life.
<~~This doesn't make sense if you left the driver in the car. I think this whole thing needs re-thinking/re-phrasing.
5) One winter when I was a little child, I went with my family to the mountain.<~~Only to one mountain? Or "to the mountains."?
6)One day I went bobsledding, but I wasn’t able to stop so I jumped into a gap, I smashed the sled and I hurt my bottom. After an hour the mountain rescue was able to save me.
How will you fix the run-on sentences in here?
" target="_blank">http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/runons.htm
Can you help me check this paragraph?
Thank you for your last corrections!
1) It was midnight. We were walking through the street. There wasn’t anybody, everything was quiet, when a fast car jumped out of the darkness.
2)The car crashed against a wall and the driver jumped through the windscreen and fell down on the pavement.
3) Then we approached to the car even if we were very afraid and scared, we finally decided to help the driver.
4) We ran away from the car that was starting to burn, with the body of the unconscious driver.. but suddenly we heard a terrible noise : the car exploded and we saved a life.
5) When I was a little child, during the winter, I went with my family to the mountain.
6)A day I went bob sleighing but I wasn’t able to stop so I jumped into a gap, I smashed the sled and I hurt my bottom. After an hour the mountain rescue was able to save me.
Thank you
2 answers
OK -- I see what's happening with #4. It needs complete rephrasing. How will you rewrite #4?
2 answers