Lots more needs to be added to this. Half of what you wrote is the quotation from the story. Be sure you address ALL parts of the assignment.
1. In an essay, You've barely written a paragraph, not an essay. An essay is usually 4-5 paragraphs minimum.
http://lklivingston.tripod.com/essay/
2. explain the meaning of Rawlings's statement.
3. Then, analyze the diction—Rawlings's choice of words and the way in which she composes the sentence.
4. What feeling does the word choice and diction convey?
5. Use details from “Rattlesnake Hunt” to support your response.
Also, be sure you don't have any fragments or run-on sentences in your work. Study these webpages so you recognize these errors and learn how to avoid them:
http://www.chompchomp.com/terms/fragment.htm
and
http://www.chompchomp.com/terms/commasplice.htm
Can someone read over this and let me know if I missed anything? Thank you!
Rawlings writes, "If this [seeing a rattlesnake up close] had happened the week before, if it had happened the day before, I think I should have lain down and died on top of the rattlesnake, with no need of being struck and poisoned."
In an essay, explain the meaning of Rawlings's statement. Then, analyze the diction—Rawlings's choice of words and the way in which she composes the sentence. What feeling does the word choice and diction convey? Use details from “Rattlesnake Hunt” to support your response.
The meaning of Rawlings's statement, "If this [seeing a rattlesnake up close] had happened the week before, if it had happened the day before, I think I should have lain down and died on top of the rattlesnake, with no need of being struck and poisoned." is that the day or week before Rawlings did not like the idea of being near a rattlesnake, however you can tell by the tone that now the author is more comfortable being around them. Her diction is very casual.
It isn't my best work ever, so I would really love it if someone would make suggestions!
11 answers
Okie-Dokie. I also should've specified it is an essay question, not an essay paper, so I can write a paragraph. Thank you for the links and advice!
If your teacher wants an essay and you write a paragraph, you'll probably get a zero or at least be told to re-do the assignment. You should double-check with your teacher to be sure.
HOWEVER … you still haven't addressed all parts of the assignment. You're still missing points 2, 3, 4, and 5 of the assignment, as I separated them for you above.
HOWEVER … you still haven't addressed all parts of the assignment. You're still missing points 2, 3, 4, and 5 of the assignment, as I separated them for you above.
I think I might need a bit more work, but does it look better now? What specifically needs the most work? (The Text in parenthesis is my text evidence)
The following quote is from Rattlesnake Hunt. "If this [seeing a rattlesnake up close] had happened the week before, if it had happened the day before, I think I should have lain down and died on top of the rattlesnake, with no need of being struck and poisoned." This means that the day or week before Rawlings did not like the idea of being near a rattlesnake, however, the 'if' leads you to believe her reaction now is not the same as it would have been before. ("...IF this had happened a week before..."). Her diction and word choice make you feel entertained, but you can tell she is being serious. (I think I should have lain down and died on top of the rattlesnake, with no need of being struck and poisoned.)
Also Thank you so much! I have too many questions, I'm sorry. 😔
The following quote is from Rattlesnake Hunt. "If this [seeing a rattlesnake up close] had happened the week before, if it had happened the day before, I think I should have lain down and died on top of the rattlesnake, with no need of being struck and poisoned." This means that the day or week before Rawlings did not like the idea of being near a rattlesnake, however, the 'if' leads you to believe her reaction now is not the same as it would have been before. ("...IF this had happened a week before..."). Her diction and word choice make you feel entertained, but you can tell she is being serious. (I think I should have lain down and died on top of the rattlesnake, with no need of being struck and poisoned.)
Also Thank you so much! I have too many questions, I'm sorry. 😔
I know I can do a paragraph because I have had thees questions before and asked her about them. 😊👍
Get rid of any "you" instances in here and rephrase.
Fix any fragments and comma splices (run-ons). If you don't know how to find them, ask some one to listen to you as you read your paragraph from the bottom up, sentence by sentence. If you need help recognizing these, study those webpages I gave you.
I'd remove this sentence — "The following quote is from Rattlesnake Hunt." This is how 3rd graders write. Make your first sentence smoother than that.
What are her diction and word choice? Formal? Informal? Chatty? What??
Fix any fragments and comma splices (run-ons). If you don't know how to find them, ask some one to listen to you as you read your paragraph from the bottom up, sentence by sentence. If you need help recognizing these, study those webpages I gave you.
I'd remove this sentence — "The following quote is from Rattlesnake Hunt." This is how 3rd graders write. Make your first sentence smoother than that.
What are her diction and word choice? Formal? Informal? Chatty? What??
I am so sorry, I am not at my most productive at the moment, and I really, really, appreciate your bearing with me. I think I've got it this time! (Grammarly is saying 97 score-- Woot-Woot!)
"If this [seeing a rattlesnake up close] had happened the week before, if it had happened the day before, I think I should have lain down and died on top of the rattlesnake, with no need of being struck and poisoned." This quote from Rattlesnake Hunt" means that the day or week before Rawlings did not like the idea of being near a rattlesnake. However, the 'if' leads you to believe her reaction now is not the same as it would have been before. ("...IF this had happened a week before..."). Her diction and word choice are informal and convey feelings of entertainment and sincerity. (I think I should have lain down and died on top of the rattlesnake, with no need of being struck and poisoned.)
Once more, thank you SO MUCh. If I don't have it this time, I won't post anymore. I'll see if one of my siblings can help.
"If this [seeing a rattlesnake up close] had happened the week before, if it had happened the day before, I think I should have lain down and died on top of the rattlesnake, with no need of being struck and poisoned." This quote from Rattlesnake Hunt" means that the day or week before Rawlings did not like the idea of being near a rattlesnake. However, the 'if' leads you to believe her reaction now is not the same as it would have been before. ("...IF this had happened a week before..."). Her diction and word choice are informal and convey feelings of entertainment and sincerity. (I think I should have lain down and died on top of the rattlesnake, with no need of being struck and poisoned.)
Once more, thank you SO MUCh. If I don't have it this time, I won't post anymore. I'll see if one of my siblings can help.
MUCH better! I'll put my corrections in bold, and you can decide whether to use them or not.
—————————-
"If this [seeing a rattlesnake up close] had happened the week before, if it had happened the day before, I think I should have lain down and died on top of the rattlesnake, with no need of being struck and poisoned." This quote from "Rattlesnake Hunt" means that the day or week before Rawlings did not like the idea of being near a rattlesnake. However, the 'if' leads me to believe her reaction now is not the same as it would have been before. ("...IF this had happened a week before..."). Her diction and word choice are informal and convey feelings of entertainment and sincerity. (I think I should have lain down and died on top of the rattlesnake, with no need of being struck and poisoned.)
———————-
I think you still need a concluding sentence, but otherwise, it's much better.
—————————-
"If this [seeing a rattlesnake up close] had happened the week before, if it had happened the day before, I think I should have lain down and died on top of the rattlesnake, with no need of being struck and poisoned." This quote from "Rattlesnake Hunt" means that the day or week before Rawlings did not like the idea of being near a rattlesnake. However, the 'if' leads me to believe her reaction now is not the same as it would have been before. ("...IF this had happened a week before..."). Her diction and word choice are informal and convey feelings of entertainment and sincerity. (I think I should have lain down and died on top of the rattlesnake, with no need of being struck and poisoned.)
———————-
I think you still need a concluding sentence, but otherwise, it's much better.
PS — Don't forget quotation marks around the second quotation you used.
THANK YOU SO MUCH! My teacher just graded it this morning, and I got a really good grade on it, and she left the following feedback: "I think you have a strong analysis. I like how you noticed that one word "if" changes the entire inference. Well done! I think the question is clearly answered. The response is fully supported by details. There may be a few errors in grammar, usage, or mechanics, but they do not interfere with meaning"
Thank you again so much!!!
Thank you again so much!!!
How marvelous! Congrats to you!!