Can someone help revise my comparison & contrast paragraph.
How different Savannah, Ga. is from Roanoke, Al.
I was born and raised in Savannah, Ga., but presently live in Roanoke, Al. Which are both different in several ways. First, Savannah is a larger city. It is located along the US Intracoastal Waterways. Savannah is surrounded by many historical buildings and houses that attract millions of visitors. It has a population of around 130,331 people, and the majority of those people are not as friendly and willing to help anyone. Due to its proximity to the coast, Savannah experiences milder winters and warm and humid summers. It sits several feet below Sea level and is prone to flooding. Roanoke, on the other hand, is a smaller town and is located along the foot hills of the Appalachian Mountains. Unlike Savannah, Roanoke is surrounded by acres of farmland. This farmland is used to raise cattle and crops. It has a population of only 6,661 people which are willing enough to go out of the way to help their neighbor. The weather in Roanoke is not as hot and humid in the summer like Savannah, but is much colder in the winter. Roanoke sits about 880 feet above Sea level and is not prone to flooding like Savannah. As you can see Savannah and Roanoke are as different as night and day. Even though each has its differences, they both are a beautiful place to live.
1 answer
Here are some mechanical things to fix:
1. "Which are both different in several ways." <~~That's a fragment. What can you do to fix it?
2. Spell out Georgia and Alabama.
3. In the sentence starting with "It has a population" (referring to Savannah), you have said "not as friendly..." but you have not completed the thought. "Not as friendly and willing..." as whom?
4. Change "Due to" to Because of -- see #7: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/plague.htm
5. The word is "foothills" -- one word, not two.
6. In the 3rd from last sentence, you have misphrased the comparison -- "like Savannah." It should be phrased "... flooding as Savannah is."
7. In the last sentence, you write, "...they are both a beautiful place to live." That doesn't make sense. You're writing about TWO places, not one. How can you rephrase so both the beginning and ending of the sentence are referring to plurals?