I'd leave out "In my opinion" because, since you are writing this, it's obvious that it IS your opinion unless you cite another author.
Also, be sure to put quotation marks around the title of the story.
Otherwise, it sounds OK.
Can I start my evaluative essay out like this?
A good short story must have a believable plot, a strong climax, a well developed story line, an attention grabbing beginning, a good use of vocabulary, and interesting characters.
In my opinion, the short story A Christmas Memory included all of these things.
...And then tell how it included each of those things?....
Thanks
-MC
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