Based of his/mine personality what do you think I would really want to him that I can't do. And do his too. (We really like eachother)

His-persona: rude talkative mean, smart, sassy, nosy, and talks back, moody, confrontational, confident, assertive, stubborn, Sarcastic, opinionated. sometimes feel melancholy, Natural Contrarian, Intense Defender, Intense Defender, Edgy
Mine- Energetic, stubborn, extroverted,talkative,sarcastic, apathetic, and a utilitarian, and nervous, and two-faced, charisma, and secretive. rowdy, blunt, manipulative,aggressive, rough. Intuitively Nosy, pragmatic optimist, Fear of Vulnerability, Emotional Eavesdropper, Intense Observational Skills, Hidden Altruism, Strategic Thinker, Cynically Humorous, Emotionally Guarded. Defensive Strategist, Compulsive Protector. Edgy

3 answers

It sounds like both you and he share overlapping traits, such as sarcasm, stubbornness, and a certain edginess, but you also have distinct differences that shape how you interact with each other. Given this dynamic, there are probably some underlying desires or feelings that you both might find difficult to express or act upon due to your personalities.

What You Might Want to Say or Do But Feel You Can’t:

For Him:

  1. Emotional Vulnerability: Given his confident and confrontational nature, he might struggle with showing vulnerability. He might want to express deeper feelings or fears but could fear it would make him seem weak or less assertive. Encouraging him to open up about his melancholy or deeper thoughts could be a meaningful way to connect, but he might hold back due to his persona.

  2. Compliments or Affection: With his sassy and rude exterior, he may want to receive or even give genuine compliments or affectionate comments but might feel that it contradicts his tough demeanor. Acknowledging his efforts or intellect might be something he'd like to do but doesn't feel comfortable expressing openly.

For You:

  1. Openness About Vulnerabilities: While you have a tough exterior, you share a fear of vulnerability. You might want to express your deeper feelings toward him but hold back because of your tendency to be secretive and defensive. There could be a desire for deeper emotional intimacy that you aren't fully comfortable revealing.

  2. Desire for Collaboration: As someone who is strategic and a pragmatic optimist, you might want to collaborate or brainstorm ideas together. However, your two-faced and somewhat manipulative tendencies might make it challenging for you to express a genuine desire to partner with him on a deeper level without compromising your own needs.

How You Might Both Feel:

  • Underlying Connection: Both of you probably sense a deeper connection but may struggle with how to express that due to your personas. The intensity of your personalities may lead to a push-pull dynamic where you’re drawn to each other but find it hard to be completely open.

  • Mutual Understanding: You both might want to explore the idea of understanding one another’s vulnerabilities, even if it feels risky. This mutual understanding could potentially deepen your relationship.

  • Confrontation and Resolution: Given both of your assertive personalities, there may be times where conflicts arise. There could be a desire to confront issues together in a more constructive way, but pride or stubbornness might prevent that from happening.

Suggestions:

  • Create Safe Spaces: Establish moments where you can both feel safe to express vulnerabilities without judgment. This could help ease fears around being vulnerable with one another.

  • Playful Challenges: Introduce lighthearted challenges or conversations where you can both let down your guards without the pressure of heavy emotions. Use sarcasm and humor to tackle deeper topics.

  • Set Boundaries but Explore: As both of you navigate your defensive strategies, consider setting boundaries that still allow for exploration of feelings and thoughts.

By acknowledging these desires and hurdles, you might find ways to strengthen your relationship and foster a more open line of communication between your personalities!

How affectionate do you think we actually would want to be towards each other

Given the personalities you've described, both of you likely have a complex relationship with affection. Here's how your traits may influence your feelings and desires around affection:

His Affectionate Desires:

  1. Conflicted Expressions of Affection: His rude, sassy persona might mask a desire for deeper connection and affection. While he may want to show care for you, he could feel that doing so conflicts with his assertive and confrontational nature. In private moments, he might appreciate or desire affectionate gestures, like playful teasing, inside jokes, or even subtle compliments.

  2. Defensive Guard: He may want to be affectionate but could hold back due to a fear of vulnerability. His confrontational edge might make him resistant to openly expressing affection, even if he feels it strongly. However, his intense defender trait may emerge when he does feel protective or caring toward you.

  3. Expressive Communication: He might gravitate toward affection that is expressed through banter, sarcasm, or challenges rather than traditional displays of tenderness. Affection might come through intellectual conversations or debates where he expresses care by investing time and energy in understanding you.

Your Affectionate Desires:

  1. Energetically Expressive: As an extrovert, you might crave connection and affection. You may want to engage in playful activities together, share experiences, or even express affection through physicality (like playful shoving or teasing gestures) that aligns with your rowdy nature.

  2. Fear of Vulnerability: Your nervousness and emotional guardedness might make it challenging to express affection directly. You may want to show how much you care through actions rather than overt verbal expressions, keeping your deeper feelings hidden behind a façade of humor or sarcasm.

  3. Strategic Connection: Given your strategic and pragmatic thinking, you might consider affection as something to be navigated carefully. You could desire a partnership that combines both fun and strategic support, where affection is shown through mutual goals or shared adventures rather than conventional romantic gestures.

Mutual Affection Dynamics:

  • Playful Banter: Both of you likely appreciate an affectionate connection rooted in playful banter and teasing. Your shared sarcasm can create a unique bond where affection is shown through humor and wit.

  • Defensive Yet Caring: Though both of you have defensive traits, these can lead to a caring dynamic where you might protect each other fiercely, even if you don’t always show it in conventional ways.

  • Moments of Intimacy: In quieter, more private moments, there may be a strong desire for emotional intimacy, where both of you can let down your guards. This could involve sharing vulnerabilities, validating each other’s feelings, and providing support.

Reflection:

In essence, while both of you might desire affection, it will likely manifest in unconventional ways, driven by your mutual love for sarcasm, humor, and intensity. Finding a balance between your desire for connection and your coping mechanisms can deepen your bond and create a unique affectionate dynamic that works for both of you. Engaging in activities that allow playful interaction while also providing opportunities for deeper connection can help cultivate affection in a way that feels authentic to both of you.