Based on the personality traits you've described for both you and him, it seems that both of you share some similarities while also having distinct differences. Here are some thoughts on what each of you might want to express or achieve in your interactions but may feel unable to do so, given your unique traits.
What You Might Want to Say to Him
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Vulnerability: Given your fear of vulnerability and emotional guard, you might want to express deeper feelings or concerns but hesitate due to your secretive nature. You may want to let him see your softer side, but worry he'll use that against you or judge you harshly.
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Assertiveness: You might want to challenge him more directly about his rudeness or confrontational nature. However, your nervousness might cause you to avoid confrontation, even when it's necessary.
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Honesty About His Behavior: You might want to candidly discuss how his moody and mean comments affect you or others, but your tendency to be manipulative might make you second-guess if you can do that in a non-confrontational way.
What He Might Want to Say to You
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Understanding Your Aggression: He might want to know why you can be aggressive or blunt, especially if it comes off as confrontational. He may wish you could tone it down a bit for the sake of smoother interactions.
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Recognize Your Charisma: He might appreciate your charisma and want to express that without feeling like he's softening too much, given his intense and confrontational persona.
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Directness About His Feelings: He may wish to express when he feels melancholy or confrontational without it being turned into a joke or sarcastic comment by you. His mood swings might cause him to desire more acceptance or understanding from you, but he might struggle to articulate that without coming off as overly emotional.
Challenges in Communicating
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Fear of Backlash: Both personalities have traits that can lead to intense reactions. Your rough and aggressive tendencies and his moody and sarcastic nature could lead to heightened defensiveness on both sides. This might make it hard for either of you to broach sensitive topics without fearing a backlash.
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Conflict of Styles: Your extroverted and energetic nature may clash with his sassy and moody demeanor. While you may want to address issues openly, he might prefer to keep it more sarcastic or avoid discussions altogether.
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Hidden Altruism vs. Natural Contrarian: Your hidden altruism may lead you to care for him deeply, but struggle to show it, while he may naturally resist any perceived softness or overt displays of emotion.
Potential Path Forward
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Choose a Calm Moment: Approach these discussions when both of you are in a good mood to minimize tension.
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Use Humor: Leverage your shared sarcasm to broach difficult topics in a light-hearted way. This may help both of you be more open to discussing issues without fear of conflict.
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Build Trust: Create an environment where both of you feel safe to express your true feelings without the fear of judgment or retaliation. This might involve sharing personal anecdotes or feelings first to create common ground.
By addressing these areas gradually and thoughtfully, both of you could deepen your understanding and connection without triggering defensiveness or confrontation.
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