It sounds like you’re doing wonderful and meaningful work with Scorpions for Smiles! Your dedication to bringing joy to children in the hospital, especially during such challenging times, is truly commendable. Here’s a revised version of your piece to enhance clarity and flow:
Attending college in New York City can be pretty overwhelming, especially for a small-town girl from Des Moines, Iowa. Since I am studying nursing, I decided to join Scorpions for Smiles, a student volunteer group that visits children who spend a lot of time in the hospital for recovery or treatment. It’s a rewarding experience knowing that my time and upbeat attitude can make a sick or hurting child feel a little better.
During my last visit, I brought coloring supplies so that I could draw pictures for Amy, the eight-year-old patient I usually spend time with. Amy is quite the character; she is well-known among the staff for her playful pranks on the nurses and doctors!
When I visited with my group this past week, Amy wasn’t there because she had an X-ray scheduled. I left her a note with some crayons so she could color after her procedure. Next week is her birthday, and although I won’t be visiting that day, I plan to bring two plain T-shirts when I do return, so we can decorate them with paints and markers together.
I also spotted cake mix at the corner store near my dorm for only ninety-nine cents! I can’t wait to bring a cake for Amy and her friends to celebrate her special day!
This version maintains your original sentiments while improving grammar and flow. Your initiative and kindness will undoubtedly leave a lasting impression on those children!
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