Run-on: "In Brooklyn there was always something to do, there were so many exciting places to go."
How will you fix this?
Unless this is autobiographical, you need to get the "you" and "I" words out of there. If it's autobiographical, you can keep the "I" words, but get rid of the "you" words.
You have problems with missing commas:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm
Spelling -- at least one error.
I see two similes, no metaphors.
All sentences must be properly constructed. Finally, you are to use at least one simile/and or metaphor in each paragraph. This is what I have so far
In Brooklyn there was always something to do, there were so many exciting places to go. If you were bored on a lazy summer afternoon there was Coney Island. What kind of genius came up with the idea of putting an amusement park on the beach in the city? Who ever that was, I hope they got an award for it. You could take the subway to Coney Island, ride The Cyclone, walk down to Nathan's Famous for the hotdogs. Brooklyn was like the rainbow growing up. At the time Brooklyn was clean as a white sandy beach.
3 answers
"Brooklyn was like the rainbow growing up."
There's a simile in here that is OK, but there's also a misplaced modifier. Was the rainbow growing up?
There's a simile in here that is OK, but there's also a misplaced modifier. Was the rainbow growing up?
i am a rainbow.