Asked by Britney

I am writing a paper on college athletics vs academics. Below is my introductory sentences. Let me know if it catches your attention or if any changes are needed. Thanks, Britney


Are colleges sending the wrong message when they give a student athlete a full scholorship because he can run like the wind, or bench press 500 lbs but can not read at a 50% comprenhension level?
Answered by Krystle
Opening with a question caught my attention, but if this question is the thesis of your essay I suggest that you open with some sort of an example, like an anecdote. Then follow up by stating your thesis.
Answered by Britney
Should I give an example of coaches providing leway for star players?
Answered by Krystle
That would work just fine. Tell how a stereotypical athlete breezes through the system, but a dedicated and motivated "brainiac" gets all the tough breaks.
Answered by Britney
May you please elaborate on that? I don't really understand?

Ok look at this.

It's time for the NCAA tournament and the star players grades arent up to standard. The coach can not afford for him not to play remember this is the tournament. Should the coach allow him to play or should he be put on probation just like the other players?
Answered by Krystle
What you have is very good except for some structural issues. You pretty much got what I was trying to tell you.
Answered by Anonymous
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