I need help writing a lead sentence, it has to answer the who, what, why, when and how

Question

The Director of Budget and Accounting, Patsy Moore, shared a presentation about the 2013 Capital Improvement Plan on Monday during the City Commission Meeting in Kalamazoo.

Does that work, if not can you help me revise it?

Answer 1

That works just fine. You could also start with "Patsy Moore, director of budget and accounting . . ."