Please do these things and then re-post when you've made corrections ~
1. Get rid of all instances of "you" and any of its forms. Rephrase these sentences.
2. Read each sentence in reverse order (from the last sentence to the first). Fix any problems you discover.
3. Think about the correct uses for quotation marks and capital letters. Make any corrections you see the need for.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/quotation.htm
and
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/capitals.htm
You’ve applied for a specific job in your field of study. The Human Resources Department arranges an interview and tells you to bring with you a polished piece of writing for them to evaluate your writing skills. The paragraph must describe one particular experience you’ve had that inspired you or guided you to choose the type of position for which you applied. Your audience is your potential employer and your purpose is to show you have thought carefully about what and/or who has motivated you toward this career choice and why. In addition, you want to convey your enthusiasm for this position as it relates to your inspiring experience. Take time to think about what your audience wants to know and strive to reach a balance between informal and formal business writing.
Directions:
1. The paragraph must describe one particular experience you’ve had that inspired you or guided you to choose the type of position for which you applied.
2. Your audience is your potential employer and your purpose is to show you have thought carefully about what and/or who has motivated you toward this career choice and why.
3. In addition, you want to convey your enthusiasm for this position as it relates to your inspiring experience.
4. Take time to think about what your audience wants to know and strive to reach a balance between informal and formal business writing</b<.
PLEASE EDIT!
I choose to be a “Medical Transcriptionist” to utilized my skills in writing, spelling, grammar and punctuation. My passion for medical transcription arose because of my love for research and thirst for knowledge. I have been curious about new diagnoses, new medications, new technologies, and new treatment options. Being a transcriptionist, you learn new and challenging problems people face on a day-to-day basis. As you learn and understand these things, it’s easier to know your own bodies need. My father, Oh how I loved my father, he was the greatest man I have ever know. He past away seven years ago from a stroke. If I had know the symptoms, I probable could have saved him. I felt helpless after the fact. “Why didn’t I know”. I saw the signs he was having, but didn’t know. How can you help someone If you don’t know or understand what is happing to them. His stroke was on Thanksgiving Day, I will never forget. For this heart breaking day, it gives me great pleasure to be able to work within the medical field. I want to understand why and how the signs we see in people can contribute to what can be done to prevent them. I know I have the determination to work hard, the compassion needed while assisting patients, and the ability to work well under pressure and in a team-oriented environment.
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