Asked by Riana

plz can anyone check my poem and mark my correct my mistakes.

Lasts Forever
once aparted, never met again
never saw the wound heeling again

once desired, beyond dreams
no one i saw blessed anymore

once hurtled, smashed from the roots
never saw a tree crashed like a walnut

once dead, somehow turned the soul red
haven't seen venom spread like blood in body
Answered by Writeacher
There's no such word as "aparted" (for one thing).

I think you mean "crushed" instead of "crashed"

Answered by Riana
yeah crushed sorry my mistake. then what should i use instead of aparted?
Answered by Writeacher
Just use "apart" -- and I think you mean "healing" (not "heeling"), right?
Answered by Riana
yeah healing and dose this poem make sense and is it good or not or any grammatical mistakes ?
Answered by Writeacher
I have no idea what you're trying to describe -- a person? a town? a neighborhood? a lifestyle? or ???

Answered by Riana
a failure lover.
Answered by Writeacher
Somehow you need to make that clear!
Answered by Riana
where should i make the changes ?
Answered by Riana
i changed the sentence number 6
"never saw a heart crushed like a walnut"
There are no AI answers yet. The ability to request AI answers is coming soon!