Asked by Riana
plz can anyone check my poem and mark my correct my mistakes.
Lasts Forever
once aparted, never met again
never saw the wound heeling again
once desired, beyond dreams
no one i saw blessed anymore
once hurtled, smashed from the roots
never saw a tree crashed like a walnut
once dead, somehow turned the soul red
haven't seen venom spread like blood in body
Lasts Forever
once aparted, never met again
never saw the wound heeling again
once desired, beyond dreams
no one i saw blessed anymore
once hurtled, smashed from the roots
never saw a tree crashed like a walnut
once dead, somehow turned the soul red
haven't seen venom spread like blood in body
Answers
Answered by
Writeacher
There's no such word as "aparted" (for one thing).
I think you mean "crushed" instead of "crashed"
I think you mean "crushed" instead of "crashed"
Answered by
Riana
yeah crushed sorry my mistake. then what should i use instead of aparted?
Answered by
Writeacher
Just use "apart" -- and I think you mean "healing" (not "heeling"), right?
Answered by
Riana
yeah healing and dose this poem make sense and is it good or not or any grammatical mistakes ?
Answered by
Writeacher
I have no idea what you're trying to describe -- a person? a town? a neighborhood? a lifestyle? or ???
Answered by
Riana
a failure lover.
Answered by
Writeacher
Somehow you need to make that clear!
Answered by
Riana
where should i make the changes ?
Answered by
Riana
i changed the sentence number 6
"never saw a heart crushed like a walnut"
"never saw a heart crushed like a walnut"
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