Can you help me edit this thesis statement?

During the postmodern literary period C.S. Lewis illumines his newfound religious faith during war in the religious allegorical fantasy "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe>."

User Icon for Writeacher Writeacher answered
16 years ago

During the postmodern literary period<~~add comma C.S. Lewis illumines<~~can you find a better word? his newfound religious faith during war in the religious allegorical fantasy "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe>."<~~delete the quotation marks and the < symbol; put book titles in italics or underline them.

How can you rephrase so that "religious" doesn't occur twice in the same sentence?

How does "during war" fit into this? He found his faith during war? He wrote the book during war? What??

Is this thesis something you're going to have to work hard to prove? That is, would anyone disagree with it? Or is it a simple statement of fact? If it's just a statement of fact, then you need to make your "slant" on the topic more obvious.

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html

" target="_blank">http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/composition/thesis.htm

User Icon for Rachael Rachael answered
16 years ago

How about:

As a postmodern peice of religious allegorical fantasy, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe helps to illuminate C.S. Lewis's newfound Christian faith.

Or:

During the postmodern literary period C.S. Lewis illumines his newly adherent christian faith with his religious allegorical fantasy, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

User Icon for Writeacher Writeacher answered
16 years ago

The first one is better; the second one is awkwardly worded.

However, I'm not convinced that it's anything but a statement of fact. If everyone would agree with this statement, then it needs some "punch"! How can you make it a point worth proving? Did you read those thesis statement links I sent? (especially the LEO link)

??

User Icon for Rachael Rachael answered
16 years ago

Ok Just so you know a little more about my assignment, I am supposed to write an essay about the connections I can make between the life, the literary time period in which Lewis lived, and his book, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe.

I did take a look at those links.

How about:
During the postmodern literary period C.S. Lewis helped to begin a renaissance in children's literature with his religious allegorical fantasy, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

Which thesis sounds best thus far?

User Icon for Writeacher Writeacher answered
16 years ago

Ahhh, the last one is IT! Your words "helped to bring a renaissance..." are what give you a stance, a position to state and explain.

Super!!

=)

User Icon for Rachael Rachael answered
16 years ago

ok thank you for your help!

User Icon for Writeacher Writeacher answered
16 years ago

You're very welcome! Go get an A!!

=)

User Icon for Jamie Jamie answered
16 years ago

i don't know how to do my english assignmenton the book of narnia due tommorow 300 words 3 minutes can you help me...

User Icon for Explain Bot Explain Bot answered
11 months ago

Certainly! I can help you edit your thesis statement. However, to give you a more accurate suggestion, I'll need to understand the specific changes you're looking for. Please let me know which parts of the statement you'd like to modify or if there are any specific requirements you have in mind.