Asked by Writeacher
I have removed your post because you included personally identifying information, which is not a safe thing to do online.
I've saved the text of your paper in a Word file, though.
I'll get back to you soon.
I've saved the text of your paper in a Word file, though.
I'll get back to you soon.
Answers
Answered by
Writeacher
Were you instructed to give titles or subtitles to each section of your paper? If so, be consistent. If not, get rid of the ones that are in there.
Your introduction is terribly boring, and I find no thesis statement.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/intros.htm
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/intro.html
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
You need to review correct subject-verb agreement. This type of error is all through your paper.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/sv_agr.htm
You have a major issue in not knowing (or not using) commas when you should.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm
I find lots of summary but little original thought on your part. What were your instructions for this paper? Your exact instructions?
Your introduction is terribly boring, and I find no thesis statement.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/intros.htm
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/intro.html
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
You need to review correct subject-verb agreement. This type of error is all through your paper.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/sv_agr.htm
You have a major issue in not knowing (or not using) commas when you should.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm
I find lots of summary but little original thought on your part. What were your instructions for this paper? Your exact instructions?
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