I know I posted this but, I need suggestions on my essay. I'm going to break this into parts so it doesn't look so long make it easier. Please give me any feedback. I just want to know what you think about it. Don't worry about grammar errors for now.

Question

I need this for marks on my essay.

Part 2: This paragraph is a bit long any suggestions on how I should break this down. Any sentences need revising? Please give feedback.

Ernest Hemingway developed his writing through working as a reporter and journalist in newspapers and magazines. He contributed in writing stories for the school newspaper, The Trapeze, and its literary magazine, Tabula. He contributed three stories during his junior year and during that time it revealed his early interest in violent death and suicide. Hemingway had written 24 articles for The Trapeze between November 1916 and May 1917. The quality of his work was not exceptional. Although the work he submitted wasn't all that great, but he gained experience that would help prepare him for his first job after graduating from high school. He took up the job as a cub reporter after high school with the Kansas City Star, one of the leading newspapers in America during that time period. He was given advice from first-rate journalistic professionals. Hemingway has to make his writing meet specific standard requirements with the Kansas City Star style sheet. The reporters have to avoid adjectives, use short sentences, brief paragraphs, vigorous English, and fresh phrases. This style of writing became the permanent influence in Hemingway's own style as a fiction writer. Hemingway covered the police station and the city hospital, and interviewed victims of accidents and violent crimes. By the end of April 1918, Hemingway left the Kansas City Star to join an American Red Cross ambulance unit in World War I. After his return from the war he worked very hard as a writer. He tried to follow a formula to sell his stories to any mass-market magazines such as The Saturday Evening Post. In the end the stories he submitted was in vain. His work was rejected because he couldn't find his own narrative voice or his own material. In January 1920, Hemingway left for Toronto and became a freelancer for the Toronto Star. After his marriage with Hadley Richardson he worked at Paris as a correspondent for the Toronto Star. He returned to Chicago in May and worked for the Co-operative Commonwealth, a monthly magazine. In November 1922, he was in Lausanne, Switzerland covering a peace conference on a territorial dispute between Greece and Turkey. Hemingway left Paris and returned to Toronto where he became a full-time reporter with the Toronto Star. After Christmas, Hemingway resigned his position as a reporter at Toronto Star. In February 1924, he returned to France where he worked as an unpaid assistant editor for transatlantic review, a journal founded by Ford Madox Ford that publish experimental fiction. Ford decided to go to New York to raise more money for the review. Ford wrote an announcement in the July issue that he is leaving the editorial duties to Hemingway while he is in New York. Upon Ford's return from New York he saw the contributor list for August issue. Ford thought that Hemingway had used the opportunity to publish his American friends' work while he was gone. Hemingway felt that his criticism was unfair because he had worked so hard for the review. In January 1925, the transatlantic review came to an end. His days as a journalist helped him gain the experience he needed to become a fiction writer. Journalism was only part of what made him a successful writer. He also had many leading writers at that period as his literary influences.

please and thak you

Answer 1

Again ... without seeing your outline and draft thesis, it's very hard to tell. Or did you skip that part of the process?

Skipping the organization part of the writing process -- drafting a thesis and planning and writing an outline -- leads to disorganized writing such as what you posted above.

Please post your outline.