Question
I read the stories about her
I discover her dark past
Some things are hard to believe
To know what she has been through
All the challanges she has faced
Now I see her in a different way
A way I’ve never seen her before
I don’t know what to say
Now that I know what I know
What do you think of the poem? How can I make it better?
I read the message she sent
But I don’t know how to respond
I feel as if I need to be careful about what I say
As I stare at the screen
I think about what I should say
My mind draws a blank
So I delete the message
All night I think about the message
Wondering what I could have said
I discover her dark past
Some things are hard to believe
To know what she has been through
All the challanges she has faced
Now I see her in a different way
A way I’ve never seen her before
I don’t know what to say
Now that I know what I know
What do you think of the poem? How can I make it better?
I read the message she sent
But I don’t know how to respond
I feel as if I need to be careful about what I say
As I stare at the screen
I think about what I should say
My mind draws a blank
So I delete the message
All night I think about the message
Wondering what I could have said
Answers
Writeacher
I read the stories about her
I discover her dark past
Some things are hard to believe
To know what she has been through
All the challanges she has faced
Now I see her in a different way
A way I’ve never seen her before
I don’t know what to say
Now that I know what I know
<b>This part reads better, smoother than before.</b>
What do you think of the poem? How can I make it better?
I read the message she sent
But I don’t know how to respond
I feel as if I need to be careful about what I say <b><~~how can you shorten this line?</b>
As I stare at the screen
I think about what I should say
My mind draws a blank
So I delete the message
All night I think about the message
Wondering what I could have said
<b>Other than that one line, it reads pretty well. And the message is very clear. The only other thing I could suggest is to go through and put in some punctuation; sometimes that helps to smoothe things out, too.</b>
I discover her dark past
Some things are hard to believe
To know what she has been through
All the challanges she has faced
Now I see her in a different way
A way I’ve never seen her before
I don’t know what to say
Now that I know what I know
<b>This part reads better, smoother than before.</b>
What do you think of the poem? How can I make it better?
I read the message she sent
But I don’t know how to respond
I feel as if I need to be careful about what I say <b><~~how can you shorten this line?</b>
As I stare at the screen
I think about what I should say
My mind draws a blank
So I delete the message
All night I think about the message
Wondering what I could have said
<b>Other than that one line, it reads pretty well. And the message is very clear. The only other thing I could suggest is to go through and put in some punctuation; sometimes that helps to smoothe things out, too.</b>
Abril
I read the stories about her
I discover her dark past
Some things are hard to believe
To know what she has been through
All the challanges she has faced
Now I see her in a different way
A way I’ve never seen her before
I don’t know what to say
Now that I know what I know
I read the message she sent
But I don’t know how to respond
I feel as if I need to be careful about what I say
As I stare at the screen
I think about what I should say
My mind draws a blank
So I delete the message
All night I think about the message
Wondering what I could have said
I discover her dark past
Some things are hard to believe
To know what she has been through
All the challanges she has faced
Now I see her in a different way
A way I’ve never seen her before
I don’t know what to say
Now that I know what I know
I read the message she sent
But I don’t know how to respond
I feel as if I need to be careful about what I say
As I stare at the screen
I think about what I should say
My mind draws a blank
So I delete the message
All night I think about the message
Wondering what I could have said
Abril
I read the stories about her
I discover her dark past
Some things are hard to believe
To know what she has been through
All the challanges she has faced
Now I see her in a different way
A way I’ve never seen her before
I don’t know what to say
Now that I know what I know
I read the message she sent
But I don’t know how to respond
I feel I need to be careful about my words
As I stare at the screen
I think about what I should say
My mind draws a blank
So I delete the message
All night I think about the message
Wondering what I could have said
I discover her dark past
Some things are hard to believe
To know what she has been through
All the challanges she has faced
Now I see her in a different way
A way I’ve never seen her before
I don’t know what to say
Now that I know what I know
I read the message she sent
But I don’t know how to respond
I feel I need to be careful about my words
As I stare at the screen
I think about what I should say
My mind draws a blank
So I delete the message
All night I think about the message
Wondering what I could have said
Writeacher
Better and better!
One spelling error -- chall<b>e</b>nges
=)
One spelling error -- chall<b>e</b>nges
=)