please help me to correct my resignation letter in correct format and grammar. thank you

Question

Dear Sir,

I would like to inform you that I am resigning from my job effective on Oct.28, 2011 and it is extremely urgent I request to leave on Oct.30, 2011. So I hope you will consider looking into my financial benefits since I was employed here up to the last day of my stay in your company.

My parents requested me to stay put in Philippines because of the business commitments which I am about to manage since both of them are getting old, and they want me to take responsibility of the family owned business.

Meanwhile, it has been a pleasure working with techno-blue Company and staff for more than 2 years, which gained me a valuable experience and hopefully can be helpful to me for my future undertakings.

It would be my final decision as I also need a complete treatment for my continuous health problem.

More power and continuous success in your business.

Respectfully Yours

Answer 1

You're including too much information in what you've written above. The second paragraph is unnecessary.

Take a look at the model here, and then click on the other examples under More Resignation Letters to see slight variations.

http://jobsearchtech.about.com/od/resumesandletters/a/resignletters.htm

Re-post when you have rewritten your letter.