I agree. I for several years was a reader for these. Yours would not stand out.
Scholarships are given to those who show academic promise, and need the money.
Colleges are looking for winners, and those who have shown potential or past success in community leadership and endeavors.
The final sentence, about your butt, is a very large negative for your essay. That is not a word from a winner.
Think on this:
What have you done for others?
How did you fare with your previous courses (remember, many, many students get A's these days). Has any of your teachers written letters on your behalf?
What do you intend to do with our life, and how does this scholarship fit into that goal? Caution here: Do not say you are interested in getting rich or famous.
Do mention what you said about first person to go to college, and graduate high school, but state why that is important to your extended family, as in role model for others.
and, finally, remember 250 words is just a few words, so choose your words carefully. Short sentences, not vernacular, and certainly no reference to your body parts.
A very strong last sentence is important, as the reader is at that point deciding which pile your essay belongs in.