1. comma after "obedience"
2. comma after "cricket"
3. comma after "cooperative"
"Being Victorian society both hierarchical and sexist" -- this needs to be a clause; get rid of "being" and make a clause (clauses have subjects and verbs, not participles in place of verbs).
I left out the following sentences. Thank you.
1) Some schools valued their pupils' athletic achievements more than their academic ones. Team games became essential for inculcating discipline, obedience and sense of duty in the pupils.
2) Team games such as football, cricket and rugby were perfected and given their modern form. These sports and the ideas associated with them were adopted all over the British Empire.
3) In particular, British children were taught not only to be disciplined, athletic, and cooperative but also to be proud of their homeland and of their racial superiority. Being Victorian society both hierarchical and sexist, they were educated to fit their social rank and their sex role.
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