Can someone check my answer and let me know if it is missing something?

Question

Make any necessary corrections to the following paragraph- look for sound alike words, verb tense shift, singular subject/pronoun agreement etc…

Tom Greene, Director of Sales, was in the office yesterday. He shows the staff various new products for marketing and asked that staff attention be devoted to promoting the new items. He said that each customer would want the new items because a person wants the most for their money. The employees are always happy to see Tom because he is the favorite of all the bosses he is considerate, hardworking and funny. Your never going to see Tom lose his temper at work; its just not in his nature.

my editing:

Tom Greene, Director of Sales, was in the office yesterday. He showed the staff various new products for marketing and asked that, attention be devoted to promoting the new items. He said that, each customer would want the new items because a person wants the most for their money. The employees are always happy to see Tom. because He is the favorite of all the bosses. He is considerate, hardworking, and funny. You will never going to see Tom lose his temper at work; it is just not in his nature.

Answer 1

Did you read Ms. Sue's response to you below?

Answer 2

Yes I did. bellow is my answer to my HW. Maybe I'm confuse, please check my answer and tel me what Is wrong with it. I', really trying.

Answer 3

I got the system now. sorry. Thanks!

Answer 4

You're welcome. :-)

Answer 5

Explain what is wrong with the following sentence and make any corrections if necessary: “Neither the mouse nor the rats could find its way through the maze.”