5-6. What should a courting couple strive to learn about each other? (1 Peter 3:4)

Question

If you are in a courtship, what will help you decide whether to get married or not? Get to know each other well. You likely learned some things about the other person before you began dating. But now you have the opportunity to get to know “the secret person of the heart.” (Read 1 Peter 3:4.) This involves learning more about your prospective mate’s spirituality, personality, and thinking. Over time, you should be able to answer such questions as: ‘Will this person be a good marriage mate for me?’ (Prov. 31:26, 27, 30; Eph. 5:33; 1 Tim. 5:8) ‘Can we fulfill each other’s emotional needs? Can we live with each other’s shortcomings?’ (Rom. 3:23) As you get to know each other, remember: Compatibility is largely determined, not by how similar you are, but by how adaptable you are to each other’s differences.What other matters should you learn about the other person during courtship? Before you become too emotionally involved, you may want to discuss some important matters, such as the other person’s goals. But what about such personal matters as health issues, financial problems, or past trauma? Not all topics need to be discussed at the beginning of the courtship. (Compare John 16:12.) If you feel that it is too soon to answer some particularly personal questions, let the other person know. Nevertheless, in time your prospective mate will need to know this information in order to make a balanced decision. So at some point, you will have to open up.

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Answer 1

During courtship, a couple should strive to learn about each other's spirituality, personality, and values as emphasized in 1 Peter 3:4, which highlights the importance of the inner self. Understanding each other's emotional needs, goals, and any personal challenges, like health issues or past experiences, is crucial for building a strong foundation. It's important to communicate openly and gradually about these topics, ensuring you both feel comfortable and ready to share. Ultimately, recognizing and adapting to each other's differences will greatly influence your compatibility and the decision to move forward toward marriage.