Asked by Meredith
                Is this a decent thesis statement or is it too long?
The imbalance in racial diversity in the field of pharmacy brings a need for more in-depth cultural competency training programs in colleges of pharmacy so they can better understand, relate, and provide appropriate health care service to their patients.
            
        The imbalance in racial diversity in the field of pharmacy brings a need for more in-depth cultural competency training programs in colleges of pharmacy so they can better understand, relate, and provide appropriate health care service to their patients.
Answers
                    Answered by
            Writeacher
            
    It isn't too long. It just doesn't seem like a good thesis to me. I don't see any opinion of YOURS in there. As it is, it's factual -- who would argue with the statement? 
Did you truly read and study the information and examples in the two links I gave you earlier?
http://www.jiskha.com/display.cgi?id=1296337918
    
Did you truly read and study the information and examples in the two links I gave you earlier?
http://www.jiskha.com/display.cgi?id=1296337918
                    Answered by
            Meredith
            
    Actually I did I'm just having a hard time coming up with a thesis. Everything seems to be a fact. 
    
                    Answered by
            Writeacher
            
    One thing you need to do is to define "imbalance in racial diversity." 
What does this term/phrase mean?
What would it mean to have balance in racial diversity?
What would you suggest as to how to achieve that?
<b>And why would it be important?
There is no "YOU" in your statement so far. There is nothing there to indicate what YOU believe.
</b>
    
What does this term/phrase mean?
What would it mean to have balance in racial diversity?
What would you suggest as to how to achieve that?
<b>And why would it be important?
There is no "YOU" in your statement so far. There is nothing there to indicate what YOU believe.
</b>
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