Question

think of a situation that recently upset you :

1: what were you doing ?
i was

Answer 1

Do you want help finishing that sentence and working through the situation? I can guide you step-by-step. Below are simple prompts you can use to reflect, plus a short example to show how to answer them.

Prompts to complete the exercise
1) What were you doing? (Finish the sentence “I was…”)
2) Where were you and who was there?
3) What exactly happened? Be specific and factual.
4) What did you think in the moment? (automatic thoughts)
5) What did you feel (emotions) and where in your body did you feel it?
6) How did you react or what did you do?
7) What need or value of yours was blocked or threatened?
8) What would you have liked to happen instead?
9) What can you do now (short-term coping + next steps)?
10) What did you learn about triggers or boundaries for the future?

Example (short)
1) I was making dinner.
2) I was at home; my partner came in from work.
3) They criticized how I seasoned the food in a harsh tone.
4) I thought: “They always put me down; I must be bad at this.”
5) I felt hurt and tense, a tight chest and heat in my face.
6) I went quiet and later avoided talking to them.
7) I needed respect and appreciation.
8) I would have liked a calm comment or a request instead of criticism.
9) Short-term: I took five minutes to breathe and calm down. Next step: I’ll tell them how that tone affected me and ask for feedback delivered kindly. If it continues, set a boundary about how we speak to each other.
10) I learned I’m sensitive to tone when I’m already tired; I can ask for feedback at a better time.

Coping techniques you can use right now
- 4-4-4 breathing (inhale 4s, hold 4s, exhale 4s)
- Grounding: name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, 1 you can taste
- Pause before responding; use “I” statements later (I felt… when …)
- Short walk or physical movement to shift the nervous system

If you want, finish the first prompt here (“I was…”) or answer any of the questions above and I’ll help you reflect on it or draft what you might say to the other person. If this feels too intense, tell me and we can focus just on calming strategies.