Question

Which sentence in the passage should be revised for clarity?
The following is an excerpt from a student essay.

Daylight Saving Time

(1) Daylight saving time is the system of setting clocks one hour ahead so that both sunrise and sunset happen at a later hour. (2) The result is an extra hour of daylight in the evening. (3) He first mentioned the idea of daylight saving, Benjamin Franklin, in an essay he jokingly wrote in 1784. (4) A British builder, William Willett, wrote seriously about the idea in 1907.
(5) Daylight saving time has been used in the United States and in many European countries since World War I. (6) The system began as a way to conserve the fuel needed to produce electric power. (7) Since their was an extra hour of daylight in the evenings, homes and businesses did not have to turn on the lights as early. (8) Some places in the United States went back to standard time after the war, but others kept daylight saving time.

Answer 1

Sentence 3. Its current wording — "He first mentioned the idea of daylight saving, Benjamin Franklin, in an essay he jokingly wrote in 1784." — is awkward and confusing because the subject and appositive are misplaced.

Revisions:
- "Benjamin Franklin first mentioned the idea of daylight saving in a joking 1784 essay."
- Or: "The idea of daylight saving was first mentioned by Benjamin Franklin in a 1784 essay he wrote as a joke."