Question

Shakespeare can teach kids things. Some people think he is important. I think his stuff is hard to read, but that doesn't really matter. Kids should read his plays anyway because they are interesting. Teachers know that students' reading levels increase when they read more Shakespeare. Open-Ended Question Activity
What does this body paragraph do well? What can be improved?

Answer 1

What this paragraph does well
- States a clear position: kids should read Shakespeare.
- Acknowledges an opposing view (that his writing is hard), which shows awareness of counterarguments.
- Gives a claimed benefit (reading Shakespeare raises students’ reading levels), so the paragraph has a main point to develop.
- Uses straightforward language that would be accessible to many readers.

What to improve
- Topic sentence and focus: The opening line is weak and general. Make a stronger topic sentence that previews the paragraph’s main reason (e.g., literature skills, vocabulary, engagement).
- Evidence and specificity: “Teachers know that students' reading levels increase” is vague. Add concrete evidence (a study, quotation from a teacher, or a specific classroom example) or remove the absolute claim.
- Informal word choice and tone: Replace phrases like “his stuff” with “his works” or “his plays.” Avoid casual language (“that doesn't really matter”) that undercuts the argument.
- Explain the rebuttal: You note Shakespeare is hard to read but don’t show why that difficulty doesn’t block the benefit. Say how teachers scaffold the plays (modern translations, performance, close reading) to make them accessible.
- Organization and development: Move from claim → support → example → mini-conclusion. Add at least one concrete example (a play, a classroom activity) and a concluding sentence tying the point back to the essay’s thesis.
- Precision and authority: Replace “some people” and “teachers know” with more precise phrases (“many educators,” “research shows,” or cite a source) unless you can back the generalization.

Suggested revision (short model paragraph)
Although Shakespeare’s language can be challenging, his plays are valuable classroom texts because they build vocabulary, complex-sentence comprehension, and critical thinking. Many teachers report using scenes from Romeo and Juliet or A Midsummer Night’s Dream for close-reading exercises and performances that strengthen students’ fluency and interpretive skills; educational research also links exposure to complex texts with improved reading levels. With scaffolding—modern-language summaries, guided discussion, and acting—Shakespeare’s difficulties become learning opportunities rather than barriers. For these reasons, reading Shakespeare can raise students’ reading abilities while keeping them engaged.

Quick editing checklist you can apply
- Replace informal phrases (e.g., “his stuff”) with specific terms.
- Add one concrete example and one source or teacher anecdote.
- Explain how difficulty is addressed (scaffolding strategies).
- End with a sentence that connects this paragraph to the overall argument.

If you want, I can revise the paragraph further in the voice and length required for your essay or find a brief citation to support the claim about reading-level gains.