Question

You are angry at a friend who forgot to meet you for lunch, and you decide to write an e-mail about how it made you feel. What should you do before you send the e-mail? (Site 2)

Answer 1

Pause before you hit send. Anger makes tone harsher and wording less accurate — waiting lets you communicate clearly instead of escalating the situation. Practical steps:

1. Step away and cool off. Wait at least 30 minutes (or overnight if possible).
2. Save the message as a draft. Re-read it later with fresh eyes.
3. Check your wording: use “I” statements (“I felt hurt and embarrassed when you didn’t show up”) instead of accusatory “you” statements (“You always flake”). Be specific about what happened and how it affected you.
4. Remove insults, sarcasm, threats, or exaggerated claims. Stick to observable facts.
5. State what you want next (an explanation, an apology, a plan to avoid repeats), or propose a follow-up conversation.
6. Consider the channel: would a quick call or meeting resolve it better than email?
7. Optionally, have a trusted person read the draft and give feedback.
8. Reconsider whether sending is necessary — sometimes a calm face-to-face talk does more good than a charged email.

Following these steps will help you express your feelings honestly while protecting the friendship and reducing regret afterwards.