Question

proofread this please

Caption: A depiction of Fort Sumter being attacked.

When Southern states left the country, the U.S. still had control over some military forts in the South, Fort Sumter being one of them. Robert Anderson commanded the Union forces inside the fort. He moved his men inside the fort to keep the fort safe from the city. The Confederates wanted the fort to surrender because they said it was Confederate land. The Union did not surrender, and Abraham Lincoln did not want to start a fight. He sent food and water but not guns or more soldiers. However, the Confederates saw the resupplying as a why to prepare for the attack, and so they attacked fort Sumter. This was the start of the civil war.


list all errors.

Answer 1

Here are the errors I found, with corrections and brief explanations:

1. "When Southern states left the country"
- Problem: Incorrect wording/factual phrasing.
- Correction: "When Southern states seceded from the Union" (or "left the Union").
- Explanation: They seceded from the United States/Union, not "left the country."

2. Comma/clarity in the first sentence
- Original: "When Southern states left the country, the U.S. still had control over some military forts in the South, Fort Sumter being one of them."
- Problems: awkward structure and comma usage.
- Suggested: "When Southern states seceded from the Union, the U.S. still controlled some military forts in the South; Fort Sumter was one of them."

3. Missing rank/term clarity (optional)
- Original: "Robert Anderson commanded the Union forces inside the fort."
- Suggestion: "Major (or Major Robert) Anderson commanded the Union garrison at the fort."
- Explanation: "Garrison" is more precise than "forces inside the fort"; including rank is historically common.

4. Awkward/repetitive phrasing and unclear reference to a city
- Original: "He moved his men inside the fort to keep the fort safe from the city."
- Problems: repetitive ("inside the fort"/"keep the fort safe") and vague ("the city").
- Suggested: "He moved his men into the fort to secure them away from the nearby city of Charleston."

5. Informal/unclear wording about Confederate demands
- Original: "The Confederates wanted the fort to surrender because they said it was Confederate land."
- Problems: informal ("said it was Confederate land"); imprecise subject ("The Confederates").
- Suggested: "Confederate authorities demanded the fort's surrender, claiming it lay within Confederate territory."

6. Ambiguous subject in "The Union did not surrender"
- Original: "The Union did not surrender, and Abraham Lincoln did not want to start a fight."
- Problem: The garrison, not "the Union" as a whole, refused to surrender.
- Suggested: "The garrison refused to surrender. Abraham Lincoln did not want to initiate hostilities."

7. Incomplete/oversimplified description of Lincoln's action
- Original: "He sent food and water but not guns or more soldiers."
- Problem: oversimplified and slightly imprecise wording.
- Suggested: "Lincoln authorized a relief expedition to supply the fort with food and other provisions, but he did not send reinforcements or additional munitions."

8. Spelling error: "why"
- Original: "the resupplying as a why to prepare for the attack"
- Correction: "the resupplying as a way" (but see next point about clarity).

9. Awkward/unclear causal phrasing about Confederate reaction
- Original: "the resupplying as a why to prepare for the attack, and so they attacked fort Sumter."
- Problems: awkward phrasing, unclear causation, and capitalization.
- Suggested: "They viewed the resupply as a provocation and, after demands for surrender were refused, Confederate forces opened fire on Fort Sumter."
- Also correct "fort Sumter" to "Fort Sumter."

10. Capitalization: "civil war"
- Original: "This was the start of the civil war."
- Correction: "This was the start of the Civil War."
- Explanation: "Civil War" is a proper noun in this context and should be capitalized.

11. Minor punctuation/consistency issues
- Inconsistent capitalization of "Fort" (should be "Fort Sumter" every time).
- Consider splitting long sentences or fixing comma splices for readability.

12. Slight historical nuance omitted (optional)
- The text implies Lincoln personally sent provisions immediately; more precisely, Lincoln authorized a relief effort intended only to provision the fort, not to reinforce it. (The "Star of the West" attempt earlier was a separate incident.)

If you want, I can produce a corrected, polished version of the full caption + paragraph using these fixes.