Question

Revise Brad's draft by choosing the two best options that improve the cohesion of his conclusion.
A.
On the contrary, it is important that schools look at other ways that students may be getting sodas in order to make the ban effective. A ban on soda machines alone will not affect the rate of obesity and type 2 diabetes. Besides, our society encourages drinking soda through advertisements that only show how popular it is to drink soda and not how dangerous it is. People will have to be educated on the health risks of drinking soda before this kind of ban will be seen as helpful instead of a punishment.

B.
In conclusion, it is important that schools look at other ways that students may be getting sodas in order to make the ban effective. A ban on soda machines alone will not affect the rate of obesity and type 2 diabetes. Our society encourages drinking soda through advertisements that only show how popular it is to drink soda and not how dangerous it is. Given these points, people will have to be educated on the health risks of drinking soda before this kind of ban will be seen as helpful instead of a punishment.

C.
First, it is important that schools look at other ways that students may be getting sodas in order to make the ban effective. Second, a ban on soda machines alone will not affect the rate of obesity and type 2 diabetes. In addition, our society encourages drinking soda through advertisements that only show how popular it is to drink soda and not how dangerous it is People will have to be educated on the health risks of drinking soda before this kind of ban will be seen as helpful instead of a punishment.

D.
Therefore, it is important that schools look at other ways that students may be getting sodas in order to make the ban effective. In short, a ban on soda machines alone will not affect the rate of obesity and type 2 diabetes. Our society encourages drinking soda through advertisements that only show how popular it is to drink soda and not how dangerous it is. All in all, people will have to be educated on the health risks of drinking soda before this kind of ban will be seen as helpful instead of a punishment.

E.
In other words, it is important that schools look at other ways that students may be getting sodas in order to make the soda machine ban effective. For this reason, a ban on soda machines alone will not affect the rate of obesity and type 2 diabetes. Our society encourages drinking soda through advertisements that only show how popular it is to drink soda and not how dangerous it is. That is to say, people will have to be educated on the health risks of drinking soda before this kind of ban will be seen as helpful instead of a punishment.

Answer 1

The two best choices are B and D.

- B: Uses a clear concluding marker ("In conclusion") and a final tying phrase ("Given these points"), which makes the paragraph flow logically and ties the evidence to the recommendation.
- D: Uses logical connectors ("Therefore," "In short," "All in all") to summarize and emphasize the main points, giving the paragraph a cohesive, conclusive feel.

Why the others are weaker:
- A: "On the contrary" is misleading/unfitting and weakens cohesion.
- C: Awkward "First/Second" framing for a conclusion and a punctuation error break the flow.
- E: Overuses similar phrasing ("In other words," "For this reason," "That is to say") in a way that feels redundant rather than clarifying.