Question

Read the excerpt from Carla’s rhetorical analysis essay.

Clinton uses pathos when she says, "No one should be forced to remain silent for fear of religious or political persecution, arrest, abuse, or torture.” I believe she uses this appeal successfully by incorporating provocative diction to create an emotional response in her audience.

Which revision reflects the voice that is most appropriate for the essay’s purpose?

Ms. Clinton uses pathos when she says . . .
I think she uses pathos when she says . . .
Clinton uses this appeal successfully by incorporating . . .
In my opinion, she uses this appeal successfully . .

Answer 1

"Clinton uses this appeal successfully by incorporating . . ."

Reason: It keeps a formal, objective academic tone and avoids first-person phrases ("I think," "In my opinion") or unnecessary honorifics.