Question

Read the draft of a body paragraph in an argumentative essay.

Executive Order 9066 was a response to suspicion and prejudice. In the days following the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, military commanders were concerned because most Japanese Americans lived on the West Coast, where many military installations were also located. As a result, nearly all Japanese Americans on the West Coast were relocated and interned. This was clearly unconstitutional.

How could the writer improve this draft?
by moving the first sentence to the end of the paragraph
by using fewer big words and making the sentences shorter
by adding evidence that suspicion and prejudice were involved
by creating another paragraph with evidence of unconstitutionality

Answer 1

by adding evidence that suspicion and prejudice were involved

The paragraph makes that claim but gives no supporting details. To strengthen it, the writer should add concrete evidence (quotes from officials, contemporary newspaper articles, government reports, or examples of discriminatory statements/policies) showing that decisions were based on prejudice rather than military necessity.