Question

The Hike

(1) “We’ll see you around lunchtime, Dad,” said Jessie. (2) Slinging his backpack over his shoulder, 17-year-old Jessie Saldivar paused next to his younger brother Juan.

(3) “Boys, please take some extra water. (4) Two bottles each isn’t going to be enough. (5) Remember, I know a thing or two about hiking in this area. (6) I used to volunteer with a hikers’ assistance patrol near here, and the temperatures by late morning in July . . .”

(7) Jessie interrupted, saying, “Dad, we’ve got this. (8) We hiked in Big Bend when we lived here, remember? (9) We’ll only be gone for a few hours, and I have my cell phone.” (10) Jessie grabbed his bag and added, “This sure is heavy with all your materials, Juan.”

(11) David Saldivar sighed. (12) The last time his sons had hiked in Big Bend National Park, a sprawling desert area in West Texas, the boys were 8 and 10 years old. (13) The family had been preparing to move to Utah for David’s new job, and the boys had wanted to go on one last hike. (14) David had accompanied his sons on the long, hot trek into the canyon then, and he would have accompanied them again today, but he had to call in to a meeting at work. (15) So Jessie and Juan were on their own. (16) They were smart boys, and they could call if they needed help. (17) He supposed this was as good a time as any for them to try a challenging hike on their own.

(18) David watched his sons head out toward the Hot Springs Canyon Trail, a hike that offered majestic views of the mountains and the Rio Grande River. (19) What the trail supplied in beauty, however, it lacked in shade.

(20) The brothers made good progress in their first few hours of hiking. (21) The air was cool, the views were phenomenal, and Jessie managed to capture some amazing wildlife pictures—a black bear ambling across a beach along the Rio Grande and a mountain lion was sitting high up on a rock ledge.

(22) As morning turned into early afternoon, the brothers were down to a bottle of water each, but Jessie was confident it was all they would need for the remaining few hours of the hike. (23) They continued along the trail, the sun’s rays increasing in intensity with every step they took.

(24) The boys paused to drink from their remaining water. (25) Juan quickly consumed his bottle but complained that he was still thirsty. (26) Jessie handed Juan his bottle and let his younger brother have what was left in it. (27) In comparison, Jessie realized he did not know as much about hiking in the canyon as he had thought he did. (28) He decided it was time to call their dad.

(29) The boys found a rock ledge to sit under and wait for help. (30) Within an hour, their dad appeared and with him he had more water, and he had a park ranger.

(31) “You guys OK?” the ranger asked. (32) “Do you need any help getting back to your hotel?”

(33) “Oh, we’ll be fine,” Jessie replied, grinning weakly. (34) “My dad knows a thing or two about hiking in this area. (35) We just didn’t pay as much attention to him as we should have.”

(36) As the group slowly made its way back up the trail, Jessie had a truth to share. (37) “You were right, Dad,” he said. (38) “I’ll be sure to take all your hiking advice in the future.”

(39) Jessie’s dad replied with a grin, “Son, I’m just glad you learned a lesson. (40) Hiking is fun, but you need to be sure you are always prepared.”


What is the BEST revision to make in sentence 21?
A
The air was cool, the views were phenomenal, and some amazing wildlife pictures—a black bear ambling across a beach along the Rio Grande and a mountain lion sitting high up on a rock ledge—Jessie managed to capture.
B
The air was cool, the views were phenomenal, and Jessie managed to capture some amazing wildlife pictures—a black bear ambling across a beach along the Rio Grande and a mountain lion sitting high up on a rock ledge.
C
The air was cool, and the views were phenomenal—a black bear ambling across a beach along the Rio Grande and a mountain lion was sitting high up on a rock ledge—as some amazing wildlife pictures that Jessie managed to capture.
D
The air was cool, the views were phenomenal, and what Jessie managed to capture were some amazing wildlife pictures—a black bear ambling across a beach along the Rio Grande and a mountain lion that was sitting high up on a rock ledge.

Answer 1

B

It corrects the faulty verb form and preserves parallel structure and clarity: both animal phrases are participial modifiers ("ambling," "sitting") attached to the noun phrase "some amazing wildlife pictures," and the sentence flows naturally.