Question

How do I know if boy likes me if he is giving me mixed signals? He hugs me, he smiles at me, he jokes and flirts with me, he gets jealous when I talk to other guys, but he tells people he doesn't like me

Answer 1

Short answer: you can’t know for sure without asking him, but you can read patterns and protect yourself. Mixed signals often mean he’s confused, scared of what others think, enjoying attention, or not ready to commit. Watch actions more than words and be direct when you’re ready.

What his mixed signals might mean
- He likes you but is afraid of what friends/society will think, so he’s warm in private and denies it publicly.
- He enjoys flirting/attention but doesn’t want a relationship.
- He’s unsure of his feelings or nervous about commitment.
- He’s manipulating attention (gets a thrill from jealousy or flirting) without real interest.
- He may have issues with identity or pressure from others.

Signs he probably likes you
- He consistently initiates contact and makes time for you.
- He remembers small details and asks about your life.
- He introduces you to people who matter to him (or tries to in private).
- His body language is warm (lingers hugs, eye contact, leans in).
- He shows protective/jealous behavior but pairs it with caring actions.

Signs he might not want a relationship
- He only flirts but avoids having private, serious conversations.
- He denies liking you to others while flirting with you.
- He disappears when the relationship could become official or when you get closer emotionally.
- He pressures or tests you, or his jealousy becomes controlling.

What you can do (practical steps)
1. Observe patterns for a few weeks. Are his warm actions consistent or situational?
2. Check private vs public behavior: does he act differently around friends? That’s meaningful.
3. Ask direct, low-pressure questions in private: “I like spending time with you — how do you feel about us?” or “Sometimes you act flirty but say you don’t like me. What’s going on?”
4. Use “I” language and be calm: “I feel confused when you say one thing to me and another to others.”
5. Set a boundary: decide what you will accept (flirting only, exclusivity, etc.) and communicate it.
6. Give it a time limit. If things don’t clarify, step back to protect your feelings.
7. Don’t base your self-worth on his answer. If he’s hot/cold, prioritize your emotional safety.

Short scripts you can use
- Gentle: “Hey, can I be honest? I really enjoy our time together and sometimes I’m confused because you act differently around other people. What’s going on?”
- Direct: “I like you and I want to know if you feel the same. If not, I’d rather know so I can move on.”
- Boundary: “If you don’t want something real, I don’t want to be just someone you flirt with. Let me know where you stand.”

Red flags to watch for
- Repeated lying about you to others.
- Using jealousy to control or punish you.
- Refusing to have a straightforward conversation.
- Keeping you secret long-term without a reason.

If he admits he doesn’t like you
- Accept the answer, step back, and focus on yourself. It stings, but it’s clearer than staying confused.

If he says he does like you
- Look for follow-through: does he change his public behavior, prioritize you, and make consistent plans?

Bottom line
Trust actions over words, be clear about what you want, and ask him directly. That’s the fastest way to stop the confusion and protect your emotional well‑being. If you want, tell me what you’d like to say and I can help phrase it.