Question

Read the excerpt from Dominique’s personal narrative.

Tired of waiting for the bus, which was late for the fifth day in a row, I sat leafing through an old magazine I had stuffed in my purse the previous night. It was terribly warm for a September afternoon, and the sun cast fleeting shadows on the bus stop sign with each car that passed. I wondered when the weather would get cooler and when the new bus driver would start arriving on time. It was about then that I first noticed the apparent agitation of the man sitting next to me.

Finally, the bus arrived and ambled to a gradual stop directly in front of the restless man. The doors widened, and the bus driver greeted the man with his usual banter in his usual monotone.

"Good afternoon. How are you today?”

When writing the next few lines of dialogue, Dominique should be certain that the lines

provide clues about what will happen later on in the narrative.
contain made-up details that make the story more exciting.
include everyday language that seems real and natural.
use precise words that make both men sound educated.

Answer 1

"I'm afraid 'fine' would be a little generous," the man said. "I have an afternoon appointment with a conservator — Elena Ramos, on East Ninth — and a parcel that contains my father's certificates. If that doesn't arrive on time, the trustees can file a challenge."

"Trustees?" the driver echoed, his voice flat but precise. "Sounds serious. You mean legal papers?"

"Exactly. Not merely sentimental things. The envelope is stamped and notarized. If it's not in my hands by three, someone else could claim the studio on Mercer."

The driver tapped the fare box with the heel of his hand as if checking his own patience. "We can detour down Pine. It's slower but keeps us off the clogged avenues. Might buy you fifteen minutes."

"I don't want to inconvenience the other passengers," the man said, folding his hands. "But fifteen minutes could make the difference between my name and theirs. Please — if you can, take Pine."