Question

Behaviorists studied sheltered animals to determine whether these animals showed increased signs of stress. These clinicians hypothesized that behaviors such as whale eye are much more prevalent in shelter inhabitants.



Which revisions should Iggy make to best improve the readability for his audience (tenth grade classmates and his teacher)?

Iggy should include personal perspective of owning a shelter pet.
He should combine the sentences to make the text easier to read.
He should include extended definitions for more challenging vocabulary.
He should include all behaviors of the stressed dogs observed by the clinicians.

Answer 1

Choose to combine the sentences and add a short definition of the technical term — not a long digression and not a personal anecdote or an exhaustive list.

Why:
- Combining the two sentences improves flow and reduces choppiness for tenth-grade readers.
- A brief, clear definition of "whale eye" will make the meaning accessible. An extended definition is unnecessary and will hurt readability.
- A personal perspective or listing every observed behavior would distract from the main point.

Suggested revision (example):
"Behaviorists studied sheltered animals to see whether they showed increased signs of stress, hypothesizing that behaviors such as 'whale eye' (when a dog shows the whites of its eyes as a stress signal) are more common in shelter inhabitants."