Question

Real Life IssuesLiving With Alcohol Abuse. Lily’s mother drinks alcohol every day, and has several drinks each day. Her mother says that drinking helps her unwind after work. Lily thinks her mother may be an alcoholic. She learned that her mother recently lost her job because she was drinking at work. Lily often finds herself taking care of her mother and is worried about what will happen to her family if her mother cannot stop drinking. Write a letter to Lily’s mother as if you were Lily. In your letter, explain how her mother’s drinking is affecting Lily’s life.After completing the lesson, review and analyze your response to the Real Life Issues question.

Answer 1

Dear Mom,

I need to tell you something that’s been heavy on my heart for a long time. I love you, and that’s why I’m writing — because I’m worried and because I want our family to be okay.

Lately you have been drinking every day, and often a lot, and that is changing our lives. When you drink after work you say it helps you unwind, but I have noticed other things too: you lost your job because of drinking at work, I have to take care of you some nights, and there are times I feel scared when you are very drunk. I don’t know what will happen to us if you keep going like this, and that makes me anxious all the time.

This is how it affects me:
- I feel worried and scared a lot. I stay up late sometimes to make sure you are safe, and I wake up worrying about what today will be like.
- I have taken on responsibilities I’m too young for, like making meals, keeping the house going, and watching over you. It’s tiring and it feels unfair.
- I’m embarrassed and ashamed in front of my friends and family. When people notice you drinking or see you struggle, I feel humiliated and want to hide.
- My schoolwork and friendships are suffering because I’m distracted and stressed. I don’t always have the time or energy I should for my own life.
- I worry about the future — about money, about who will care for us if something happens to you, and about how I can keep being strong.

I’m not trying to blame you or make you feel worse. I know life is hard and you are dealing with things I might not understand. I want to help. I want us to be safe and healthy together. I would like to ask you to consider getting help. That could mean talking with a doctor, seeing a counselor, going to support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, or working with a treatment program. I would be willing to help you find information or go with you to an appointment if that would make it easier.

I also need to set some limits because I can’t keep doing everything on my own. If you agree, please do not drink around me and please not drink if you are going to be taking care of me or making important decisions. If I ever feel unsafe, I will get other adult help because I’m afraid of what could happen otherwise.

I love you and want you in my life for a long time. I hope you can hear me now and consider getting help. We can try to do this together.

Love,
Lily

Reflection and analysis of my response

Purpose and tone
- I used a caring, nonaccusatory tone with “I” statements to express Lily’s feelings (e.g., “I feel worried,” “I have taken on responsibilities”), which reduces blame and makes it more likely the mother will listen rather than become defensive.
- I stated specific effects (lost job, caregiving, school and social impacts) so the issue is concrete, not vague.

Strengths of the letter
- Clear examples of how the drinking affects Lily emotionally and practically.
- Shows empathy and willingness to help, which can motivate someone to accept assistance.
- Offers concrete next steps (medical/counseling/support groups) and a practical boundary request (not drinking around Lily).
- Keeps the primary focus on safety and family well-being rather than punishment.

Limitations and risks
- The mother might react defensively, deny the problem, or refuse help; any single letter may not be enough.
- The letter doesn’t include immediate crisis instructions (phone numbers, local resources) because those depend on location; adding them would strengthen the next version.
- If the mother is in a state that risks harm to Lily, a private letter alone may not ensure safety. In that case, more immediate action (involving another trusted adult, school counselor, or child protective services) may be required.

Suggested next steps for Lily (if this were a real situation)
- Share the letter in a safe moment, or read it aloud in a calm setting.
- Talk with a trusted adult (relative, teacher, school counselor) about concerns and get help making a safety plan.
- Seek support for herself: counseling, Alateen or family support groups, friends, and school resources.
- If there is immediate danger or neglect, contact local child welfare authorities or call emergency services.

Overall, the letter aims to balance honesty about harm being done with compassion and concrete offers of help. For best effect, combine this communication with support from other trusted adults and professional resources.