Question

In The Dear One by Jacqueline Woodson, the character Marion says, “People are going to judge you all the time no matter what you do. . . . Don’t worry about other people. Worry about you.”

Do you agree with this advice? Explain your thinking

Answer 1

I mostly agree with Marion’s advice, but with an important qualification: it’s good—and often liberating—to stop letting other people’s opinions control your choices, yet you can’t completely ignore others’ judgments because some feedback is useful and some social consequences are real.

Why I agree
- Judgment is inevitable. People form impressions quickly and often project their own fears and biases. Expecting to be judged all the time is realistic and can free you from trying to please everyone.
- Worrying less about others can increase authenticity and mental health. When you focus on your values and needs instead of constantly managing impressions, you’re more likely to make decisions that suit you and to feel less anxious.
- It encourages self-responsibility. “Worry about you” emphasizes working on your growth, boundaries, and emotional well-being rather than expending energy on changing others’ minds.

Why the qualification matters
- Not all outside judgment is useless. Constructive criticism from people who care about you can reveal blind spots and help you grow. Complete dismissal of others’ perspectives can become stubbornness or isolation.
- Social consequences exist. In many situations—work, school, legal or safety contexts—other people’s opinions and reactions have real effects you may need to navigate thoughtfully.
- Power and safety issues. Some judgments are rooted in prejudice and can harm you; in those cases you shouldn’t internalize the judgment, but you might need strategies (e.g., advocacy, protection, seeking allies) rather than simply ignoring it.

How to use Marion’s advice in a balanced way
- Decide which judgments matter: take in feedback from trusted people or experts; ignore anonymous negativity and baseless gossip.
- Ground choices in your values: let your values guide action rather than fear of judgment.
- Build supportive relationships: a few people who accept you make it easier to withstand broader judgment.
- Protect your well-being and safety: if others’ judgments threaten your safety or basic rights, take practical steps to protect yourself.

In short: it’s healthy to stop living for other people’s opinions and to focus on your own growth and well-being, but don’t completely shut out useful feedback or ignore real social consequences.