Question

Intelligence officers there study data and update plans accordingly. When intelligence discovered that the meeting location of the criminals changed, they directed the policemen to the new location.

Answer 1

Here are a few improved versions, with brief notes on the changes.

1) Concise, neutral
"There, intelligence officers analyze data and update plans accordingly. When they learned the criminals had changed their meeting location, they directed the police to the new site."

2) More formal
"Intelligence officers at the site analyze data and revise operational plans accordingly. After learning that the criminals had moved their meeting, the officers redirected police to the new location."

3) Narrative / active
"Intelligence officers monitored the data and adjusted their plans. When they discovered the criminals had shifted their meeting spot, they sent police to the new location."

Notes
- Use "analyze" (or "monitor") instead of "study" for a more professional tone.
- Use "the police" or "police officers" instead of "policemen" for gender-neutral language.
- Make the pronoun referent clear (e.g., "they" = the intelligence officers).
- Keep tense consistent (past tense if describing an event that happened).