For each peer feedback post, answer the following questions in complete sentences.

Question

Is the essay formatted correctly—title page, double spacing, indented first line of each paragraph?
Is the writer's opinion about the effectiveness of the talk clearly stated in the thesis?
How does the writer evaluate the topic, audience, purpose, organization, and tone of the talk?
What types of evidence does the writer evaluate, such as anecdotes, visual aids, statistics, or examples?
How effective is the writer's conclusion?
What kinds of grammatical errors are evident in the essay?
What is one suggestion you have for the writer?
Note: Rather than copy these questions into your responses, simply use the numbers instead.

I am an African American that is not from the hood. Far from it, in fact. I am a 3rd generation
military brat who lived in Panama City for most of my childhood. It wasn’t until I moved to Utica,
Mississippi in the United States around the age of 12 that I had ever experienced being a part of a
poor, torn African American community – a “hood” if you will.. Although, to be honest, I always
felt like an outsider. My family wasn’t well off, but we weren’t exactly poor. Food was never an
issue because my grandfather was a farmer. However, I grew to know a community very similar
to the one Ron Finley discusses in his TED talk entitled “A Guerrilla Gardner in South Central
LA” (2013). It has been a long time since I’ve had to confront the memories of those
neighborhoods, and his talk led me to believe that maybe there is something I can still do to help
my old community too.
Finely, the aptly named, self-proclaimed “Gardening Gangsta” has a lifetime of experience
in South Central LA, his home. He has watched over time what his community has and is currently
experiencing - a "food desert." He is introducing the Ron Finely Project. Through this project he
has taken his passion for developing a strong community and put it to use. He uses gardening to
transfer his vision of a cleaner, healthier lifestyle to the locals. In the TED talk, he expresses this
passion, why it is so important to him, and even shares some of his results.
Smith talks about how the city attempted to change the area by simply changing the
name. It was not enough, and he uses this to explain how his idea enacts real change. He
develops his speech through an impassioned point of view of a resident with a strong sense of
urgency to do something about his dying community. He concluded with examples of how the
locals are responding to his efforts.
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Background: Note how the issue became important or noteworthy.
Relevance to the reader: Explain why the reader should care.
Thesis: Take a stand on the effectiveness of the talk.
His tone is very interesting. He takes a hard tone, because it is "Gangsta" to do so. There is some
humor, but the humor is more on the dark side. While he does try to paint the situation in an
easily digestible manner, the message is very serious, and he wants them to understand that the
situation really is dire.
• What different types of evidence did the speaker use? Did the speaker use any charts,
graphs, or illustrations?
There were many illustrations and pictures of people and places in South Central LA. There were
many pictures of his work and the effects of his work on the community.
• What is your final evaluation of the speech? Was it effective or ineffective?
Honestly, I had never heard of Ron Finley, but I am happy to have watched this TED Talk. He is
an interesting character, and I will be donating to his cause. During my research, I was happy to
see that he is still going hard and sticking to his plan. I love that the legal issues are resolved, and
I hope that he sees continued success in his efforts to strengthen his community.
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Answer 1

1. The essay appears to be formatted correctly, with a title page and double spacing, as well as an indented first line of each paragraph.

2. The writer’s opinion about the effectiveness of the talk is clearly stated in the thesis, where they express a positive evaluation and personal connection to Ron Finley's message and the importance of community gardening.

3. The writer evaluates the topic by discussing Finley's focus on transforming food deserts into productive community spaces. They assess the audience and purpose by highlighting how Finley communicates urgency and personal investment in his community. The organization of the talk is described through its compelling narrative structure, while the tone is characterized as a mix of seriousness with underlying humor which effectively engages the audience.

4. The writer evaluates the type of evidence used by Finley, noting the inclusion of illustrations and pictures that show the people and places in South Central LA. This visual evidence supports the emotional impact of the speech and makes the message more relatable.

5. The writer’s conclusion is effective, as it reflects a personal response to the talk and emphasizes a commitment to supporting Finley’s cause. It leaves the reader with a sense of hope and community impact, offering a call to action.

6. There are some grammatical errors evident in the essay, such as the incorrect use of "Finely" instead of "Finley," as well as occasional awkward phrasing that could be smoothed out for better clarity and flow.

7. One suggestion for the writer is to refine the grammar and sentence structure for clarity and coherence. This will enhance the overall readability and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, expanding on the implications of the talk’s message could further strengthen the analysis.