Around 800 B.C.E, hunter gatherer groups started planting crops and settling near the Mississippi River (O'Brien and Kiffel-Alcheh, 2021). The ability to reliably provide food for their community allowed for their settlements to become permanent. The Mississippi River valley provided a mild climate with a low chance of drought or flood throughout the year (Mississippi State University). Staple crops such as maize, beans, and squash that grew in this fertile region allowed for tribes such as the Cherokee, Chickasaw, Choctaw, and Creek to flourish (History editors, 2020).

Question

What is grammatically wrong with this paragraph

Answer 1

The paragraph is generally well-written, but there are a couple of areas where improvements could enhance clarity and readability:

1. Redundant phrasing: The phrase "the ability to reliably provide food for their community" could be simplified for clarity. It might be more effective to say "The reliable provision of food for their community" to eliminate unnecessary wording.

2. Comma usage: After “such as the Cherokee, Chickasaw, Choctaw, and Creek,” there could be a comma before “to flourish” to separate the clauses more clearly, although this is not strictly necessary.

Here is a revised version that addresses these points:

"Around 800 B.C.E., hunter-gatherer groups began planting crops and settling near the Mississippi River (O'Brien and Kiffel-Alcheh, 2021). The reliable provision of food for their community allowed their settlements to become permanent. The Mississippi River valley provided a mild climate with a low chance of drought or flood throughout the year (Mississippi State University). Staple crops such as maize, beans, and squash that grew in this fertile region allowed tribes such as the Cherokee, Chickasaw, Choctaw, and Creek to flourish (History editors, 2020)."

Changes made:

• Added a comma after “800 B.C.E.” for proper punctuation.
• Removed "the ability to" for conciseness.
• Clarified the sentence structure.