Understanding Micro-Level Socialization: My Story of Growing Up
When I think about growing up, I realize how much being a boy or girl— or not fitting neatly into those categories— shaped my childhood. It all started with small things, like how I dressed, the toys I played with, and the activities I was encouraged to do. These little moments were my socialization, and they taught me what it meant to be “me” in the eyes of others.
From a young age, I found out that boys and girls were expected to act differently. For example, little boys like me often played with trucks, action figures, and sports equipment. The world seemed to say, “Boys should be strong, loud, and play rough.” I remember being told that “boys don’t cry” when I felt sad or scared. This made me feel like I had to hide my feelings, like it was wrong to show that I was hurt. I would force myself to smile, even when I wanted to cry.
On the other hand, girls were encouraged to play with dolls, dress up, and be nurturing. I often noticed how my sister would get praised for being caring when she played with her dolls, while I would feel embarrassed if I showed any interest in those toys. Once, at a birthday party, I picked up a Barbie doll to play with. I remember feeling curious about it, but when the other boys laughed, I quickly put it down. Their laughter felt like a warning that said, “That’s not for you.” So, I learned to stick to playing with cars and superheroes, even though sometimes I wished I could enjoy other toys too.
Clothes were another big part of this story. I was often given shirts with bright colors and cool designs with superheroes on them. Meanwhile, my friends who were girls wore dresses and pretty tops. Once, I remember wanting to wear a bright pink shirt that I thought was amazing. When I asked my mom, she smiled but said, “That’s not for boys.” I felt sad and confused. Why couldn’t I wear something I liked? It was like there were invisible rules telling me how to dress and look.
As I grew older, I noticed how my friends also felt the pressure of these roles. I saw boys being teased for showing their emotions, and girls being told to be quiet and not speak up too loudly. Sometimes, I wanted to comfort my friends, but I felt I had to hold back because showing too much kindness was seen as weakness.
Sometimes, I was praised for acting “like a boy.” When I scored a goal in soccer, my friends cheered, and I felt happy. But there were also moments when I acted differently and was scolded. Once, I helped my little sister with her toys, and my dad joked, “Are you sure you’re a boy?” His words stung. I felt ashamed for caring and helping. It was as if I was constantly walking on a tightrope, trying to balance being “a boy” and being “me.”
In all these moments, I realized socialization has a strong impact on how we see ourselves. The messages we receive can be both encouraging and confusing. It’s important to remember that everyone has feelings, whether they are a boy, girl, or non-binary. Embracing who we are, instead of fitting into a box, is what truly matters.
So, I hope that other kids learn to be themselves, regardless of what “being a boy” or “being a girl” means. It’s okay to cry, to play with whatever toys you like, and to wear what makes you happy. The most important thing is to be kind, and to be yourself.