Scenario #1: You are walking over to use the library’s one open computer. Another student is coming over too, just as you are sitting down. He quietly explains he has a class next period and wonders if he can use the computer before you. He’ll only be on a few minutes, he says, but will understand if you say “no,” after all, you were there first.

Question

Scenario #2: You are walking over to use the library’s one open computer. Just as you get there, another student races across the room trying to beat you out. (By the way, it’s against library rules to run!) He gets there after you do, but scooches into the seat before you can sit down, saying he has to “use the computer real bad!” Your assignment isn’t all that urgent, but you know him, and he’s always doing stuff last minute. He won’t take “no” for an answer!

Scenario #3: You are walking over to use the library’s one open computer. A student shoves you out of the way and sits down. You know for a fact she doesn’t have a class until tomorrow and yours is next period. You ask her what she’s thinking and tell her you have an assignment to finish. She looks at you funny and stays put.

Now consider the three questions below. Discuss your thoughts with one or two other students, and write down your answers. Be ready to share your thoughts with the whole class.

How would you react to each scenario? Be specific.
There are people who might get physically or verbally abusive in scenario #3, and maybe even #2. What values might keep a person from a physical or verbal confrontation?
Select the guiding principle that you would be most comfortable applying to all 3 scenarios.
“An Eye for an Eye”
“Turn the Other Cheek”
“No Harm No Foul”
“Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You”
“Talk It Out”
“Chill”
“Snitches Get Stitches”

Answer 1

How Would You React to Each Scenario?

Scenario #1: In this case, I would likely respond positively to the other student’s request. I understand the pressure of having a class next period and would feel empathetic toward his situation. I would agree to let him use the computer for a few minutes, perhaps asking him to return promptly so I can complete my own assignment afterwards.

Scenario #2: For this scenario, my reaction would be more assertive. Even though the other student is someone I know, I would explain that it’s against library rules to run and that I arrived first at the computer. I would politely insist that I need to use the computer because it’s more important for me to complete my work, but I would also try to encourage him to understand the unfairness of skipping ahead.

Scenario #3: In this difficult scenario, I would confront the student who pushed me out of the way. I would ask her directly and firmly to leave, explaining my pressing need to use the computer for an assignment due soon. If she remains uncooperative, I would consider seeking help from a librarian or staff member to mediate the situation, as I believe it’s important to stand up for my needs without resorting to aggression.

What Values Might Keep a Person from a Physical or Verbal Confrontation?

Several values may prevent someone from becoming physically or verbally abusive in uncomfortable situations:

1. Empathy: Understanding that others may have pressures or struggles can foster compassion and reduce the urge to lash out.
2. Respect: Valuing yourself and others can lead to maintaining dignity in an argument rather than succumbing to aggressive behavior.
3. Conflict Resolution: Prioritizing peace and resolution over confrontation encourages finding alternative ways to solve disputes.
4. Self-Control: The ability to manage emotions and impulses can help prevent rash actions that could escalate conflicts.
5. Maturity: Recognizing that physical or verbal abuse rarely resolves problems while often complicating them more deeply leads to more civilized behaviors.

Guiding Principle Selection

The guiding principle I would be most comfortable applying to all three scenarios is “Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You.”

This principle promotes empathy and respect for others’ needs and positions, fostering a collaborative rather than combative atmosphere. While some situations may urge a more assertive approach, treating others how I'd like to be treated sets a standard of kindness and consideration that transcends immediate conflict. It encourages dialogue and negotiation rather than confrontation.