Question
Review this essay and see what needs to be fixed USE LOW VOCABULARY like a 6th grader Is freshwater important? Yes, freshwater is very important for humans and animals to survive. Only 3 percent of the water on Earth is fresh, 30 percent of this water is hidden underground and 69 percent of it is in ice leaving very few on the surface for people to use. We need this small amount of water to survive and grow crops, if not protected we could suffer from contaminated water. Because there is so little of this water, we need to manage our water resources wisely.
A big issue with freshwater is that not many countries have access to it, many people in Africa, and Asia don’t really have access to freshwater leading to people getting very sick, leading to symptoms like diarrhea and cholera. Unfortunately more than a million people die each year because of contaminated water. That’s why we need to share freshwater with other poor countries so this doesn’t continue.
Freshwater is also very important for the economy, jobs like fishing can be in danger, for example when water is contaminated it can lead to the death of many species of fish leaving little to none for fishers to catch. Another job affected by this is farming, Around 70 percent of the world’s freshwater is used for farming, which feeds many families. These jobs also provide money for many other families too, without it they could lose their livelihood. With the population increasing, the demand for freshwater will grow limiting our freshwater supply even more, this will also increase the number of victims by contaminated water.
Many conflicts can start over scarce freshwater, like with Ethiopia and Egypt, they have been in a disagreement over the Nile river which both countries need to support their population. If one country builds a dam that can lead to less water for the other, these disagreements can lead to serious tensions between countries. In the United states, states like California, Arizona, Nevada, and colorado also compete for water from rivers when droughts hit. As the population grows these tensions could get even worse.
In conclusion, Freshwater is very important for our people’s health. The small amount of freshwater makes it urgent that we protect these resources, otherwise our way of life will be compromised. A lot of others still lack access to clean water, it is essential to work together to solve these problems and make sure there is a better future for everyone else.
A big issue with freshwater is that not many countries have access to it, many people in Africa, and Asia don’t really have access to freshwater leading to people getting very sick, leading to symptoms like diarrhea and cholera. Unfortunately more than a million people die each year because of contaminated water. That’s why we need to share freshwater with other poor countries so this doesn’t continue.
Freshwater is also very important for the economy, jobs like fishing can be in danger, for example when water is contaminated it can lead to the death of many species of fish leaving little to none for fishers to catch. Another job affected by this is farming, Around 70 percent of the world’s freshwater is used for farming, which feeds many families. These jobs also provide money for many other families too, without it they could lose their livelihood. With the population increasing, the demand for freshwater will grow limiting our freshwater supply even more, this will also increase the number of victims by contaminated water.
Many conflicts can start over scarce freshwater, like with Ethiopia and Egypt, they have been in a disagreement over the Nile river which both countries need to support their population. If one country builds a dam that can lead to less water for the other, these disagreements can lead to serious tensions between countries. In the United states, states like California, Arizona, Nevada, and colorado also compete for water from rivers when droughts hit. As the population grows these tensions could get even worse.
In conclusion, Freshwater is very important for our people’s health. The small amount of freshwater makes it urgent that we protect these resources, otherwise our way of life will be compromised. A lot of others still lack access to clean water, it is essential to work together to solve these problems and make sure there is a better future for everyone else.
Answers
GPT-4o mini
Here’s a revised version of your essay with simpler vocabulary and some clarity added:
---
Is freshwater important? Yes, freshwater is very important for humans and animals to survive. Only 3 percent of the water on Earth is fresh. Out of that, 30 percent is hidden underground, and 69 percent is locked in ice. This leaves very little freshwater on the surface for us to use. We need this small amount of water to survive and grow food. If we do not protect it, we might end up with dirty water. Because there is so little freshwater, we need to use our water resources wisely.
A big problem with freshwater is that many countries do not have enough of it. Many people in Africa and Asia do not have access to clean water, which makes them sick. They can get diseases like diarrhea and cholera. Sadly, more than a million people die each year because of dirty water. That is why we need to share freshwater with poor countries so that they do not keep suffering.
Freshwater is also very important for jobs. For example, fishing jobs can be in danger when water is dirty, which can lead to many fish dying. If there are not enough fish, fishers cannot catch them. Another job affected by this is farming. Around 70 percent of the world’s freshwater is used for farming, which helps feed many families. These jobs also give money to many other families. Without them, many could lose their way of living. As the population grows, the need for freshwater will increase, making it even harder to find.
Many conflicts can start over scarce freshwater. For example, Ethiopia and Egypt have disagreed over the Nile River, which both countries need to support their people. If one country builds a dam, it can mean less water for the other country. These arguments can create serious problems between countries. In the United States, states like California, Arizona, Nevada, and Colorado also compete for water from rivers, especially during dry times. As the population continues to grow, these problems can get worse.
In conclusion, freshwater is very important for people’s health. Because we have so little of it, we must protect our freshwater sources. Many people still lack access to clean water, so it is essential that we work together to solve these issues. This way, we can make sure everyone has a better future.
---
I've made some sentences simpler and clearer to ensure it's easier to read while keeping the same important points. Let me know if you need any further changes!
---
Is freshwater important? Yes, freshwater is very important for humans and animals to survive. Only 3 percent of the water on Earth is fresh. Out of that, 30 percent is hidden underground, and 69 percent is locked in ice. This leaves very little freshwater on the surface for us to use. We need this small amount of water to survive and grow food. If we do not protect it, we might end up with dirty water. Because there is so little freshwater, we need to use our water resources wisely.
A big problem with freshwater is that many countries do not have enough of it. Many people in Africa and Asia do not have access to clean water, which makes them sick. They can get diseases like diarrhea and cholera. Sadly, more than a million people die each year because of dirty water. That is why we need to share freshwater with poor countries so that they do not keep suffering.
Freshwater is also very important for jobs. For example, fishing jobs can be in danger when water is dirty, which can lead to many fish dying. If there are not enough fish, fishers cannot catch them. Another job affected by this is farming. Around 70 percent of the world’s freshwater is used for farming, which helps feed many families. These jobs also give money to many other families. Without them, many could lose their way of living. As the population grows, the need for freshwater will increase, making it even harder to find.
Many conflicts can start over scarce freshwater. For example, Ethiopia and Egypt have disagreed over the Nile River, which both countries need to support their people. If one country builds a dam, it can mean less water for the other country. These arguments can create serious problems between countries. In the United States, states like California, Arizona, Nevada, and Colorado also compete for water from rivers, especially during dry times. As the population continues to grow, these problems can get worse.
In conclusion, freshwater is very important for people’s health. Because we have so little of it, we must protect our freshwater sources. Many people still lack access to clean water, so it is essential that we work together to solve these issues. This way, we can make sure everyone has a better future.
---
I've made some sentences simpler and clearer to ensure it's easier to read while keeping the same important points. Let me know if you need any further changes!