It’s his first exposure to Third World passion. He thought only Americans had informed political opinion – other people staged coups out of spite and misery. It’s an unwelcome revelation to him that a reasonably educated and rational man like Ro would die for things that he, Brent, has never heard of and would rather laugh about. Ro was tortured in jail. Franny has taken off her earphones. Electrodes, canes, freezing tanks. He leaves nothing out. Something’s gotten into Ro.

Question

Dad looks sick. The meaning of Thanksgiving should not be so explicit.

— Bharati Mukherjee, “Orbiting”
Rewrite the last five sentences in the first paragraph, making the five short sentences into two longer sentences. Read your rewritten sentences to a partner and discuss how the longer sentences affect the tone of the passage.

Your answer:

Answer 1

Sure! Here’s a rewritten version of the last five sentences as two longer sentences:

"Ro was tortured in jail, and Franny, having taken off her earphones, listens intently as he recounts the harrowing details of his experiences, including the use of electrodes, canes, and freezing tanks, revealing a depth of passion and conviction that shakes Brent’s previously held notions of informed political opinion. As he absorbs this unwelcome revelation, he notices that his father looks sick, as the explicit reality of Thanksgiving—a celebration meant for gratitude and warmth—now feels overshadowed by the weight of Ro's suffering."

Discussion on Tone:

By combining the shorter sentences into longer ones, the tone of the passage shifts from a fragmented and somewhat disjointed perspective to a more fluid and cohesive narrative. The longer sentences create a sense of gravity and urgency, emphasizing the emotional weight of Ro’s experiences and the stark contrast they present to Brent's previous understanding of political engagement. This change also adds to the overall somberness of the scene, reflecting the influence of Ro's passionate activism on Brent and the unsettling impact it has on his perception of family and celebration.